SwizzleStix!

Big News!

2009-07-01T17:59:00.001-07:00

Okay, so I may have been a little hasty when I decided to split up my blog into two and then three separate blogs. I have mentioned before how blogs sort of take on a life of their own and apparently mine had split personalities, but now I'm working on making things a little more cohesive. One blog is much easier to keep track of than three...for you and me! So, it's been tons of fun, but starting now, I'm going to only be posting on my art blog. As I work to continue to sell my artwork and make a name for myself, it makes sense to be able to direct people to a place under my actual name. I'm going to be working on transferring some of the important things, and then this lovely blog will just sort of fade away. But don't you worry, we'll have TONS of fun over at:

http://melissamunding.blogspot.com/

Bookmark it, Follow it, do whatever you were doing here, only over there. Thanks for coming along! A little something to tempt you by: we just made a big announcement, so stop by and read!

HAPPY ETSYVERSARY TO ME!!!

2009-06-29T11:52:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it's been a whole year since I opened the modest little Etsy shop that saved my sanity. To celebrate my first fantastic year with Etsy, I'm having a HUGE SALE in my jewelry shop! Absolutely everything is 20% off! It's time to make room for some new creations, so celebrate with me and take advantage of a great sale!

20% off entire shop from now until July 4th!

Poppy Raye Studio

Fullerton Arboretum

2009-06-27T00:55:00.000-07:00

Branden and I took another photography trip to the Fullerton Arboretum today. This really is one of my favorite places, I need to spend more time there. We've been in the Fall, in the Winter, but this was our first time in the Spring/Summer time of year and it was the best so far. Every time we visit we find something new and exciting. If you haven't been, GO. It's totally free, parking is free, it's great for kids or just for photography. We had a fabulous picnic under the perfect shady tree next to a fragrant jasmine garden and orange grove. You can even pick and eat the fruit! Or feed the ducks. Or search for the loud bullfrogs that I've never actually seen. Or people watch...especially the little kids, it's always fun to watch them explore nature. I think I may go and just take a book or a sketchbook one day soon and really spend the day relaxing there. It's very peaceful somehow, even though it's right off the freeway! Anyway, you get the point...and now, LOTS of pictures today. The fruits of my labor:

Colton Eating Cheetos

2009-06-23T01:17:00.000-07:00

I swear, absolutely everything this kid does is the most adorable thing I've ever seen in my whole life. While welcoming Summer with some great friends on Saturday, I had every intention of taking pictures of everyone and somehow the entire show was stolen by Colton. He has a way of doing that. He was just hanging out, munching on some Baked Cheetos and I couldn't take the camera off him. To be fair, I tried to photograph Charlie, the other little boy at the party, but he was never still enough for a single shot. After the Cheeto pics we wound up in some fun conversation and then off to play some seriously WILD board games (*wink) so the camera stayed put in its bag. I couldn't resist the call of zombie card games and a pretty sweet round of Cranium. I wish I had taken more pictures that night, but here's what I did end up with...Colton making some seriously FAN-TASTIC faces. The camera loves him...almost as much as I do! I even love the orange Cheeto dust all over the place.

Carbon Canyon and the Biggest Kid I Know

2009-06-22T00:01:00.000-07:00

In keeping with our recent goals of exploring the place in which we live, Branden and I ventured on down to Carbon Canyon for the first time. It's another one of those places that I always wanted to check out but just never got around to it, until now. Of course, we were there for photography purposes, but mainly we just played. You'll see what I mean. I really wanted to go hiking along the trails but we weren't quite prepared for that on such a hot day. I don't think I'm quite ready for real hiking, we didn't bring water and we really weren't dressed for a hike. I was ready to push myself and do it anyway, but Branden chickened out so I didn't have to. He was melting into a huge puddle of crankiness because it was so damn hot so we just checked out the park (with wonderfully shady trees) instead. I think this place just became my favorite park. I looooooved it!

Branden took this photo of the canyon and I quite like it so I thought I'd share.

My favorite!

Mamma duck! I didn't manage to get a decent shot of her babies, but they were so much fun to watch.

And of course, once we got to the actual park area, this giant child I'm about to marry was instantly refreshed and happy as can be. Branden is the biggest kid you will ever meet...and I mean that in the absolute BEST way possible. It's one of the many things I love about him. We always have so much fun just being completely silly together. He keeps me from being too serious all the time. I think he's good for me.

I'm beginning to realize that I take a ridiculous amount of pictures of Branden and it leads me to think that I need to start hanging out with people other than just the fiance...or in addition to! I've been really wanting to work on portraits and it seems that his is the only one I get! Want to hang out and have your picture taken over and over again? Yes? Awesome, let's do it!

Japanese Garden

2009-06-20T02:09:00.000-07:00

I recently had to head down to Cal State Long Beach to work on getting everything settled to finally go back to school. Taking a medical leave ended up being a huge hassle that got me disqualified from financial aid, and with no real income, I obviously couldn't pay tuition out of pocket so I'm appealing the decision. Since the circumstances were FAR beyond my control I'm pretty much guaranteed reinstatement, but I still have to jump through hoops to get there. Ugh, I feel like the paperwork from this injury will never come to an end. This summer Branden has been working hard at a special speech therapy program at the school (free for students!) so we decided to make a special trip out of our combined necessity. If we both HAD to go to school on a day off, we might as well make the best of it, right? Right.

With cameras in tow (which is happening more and more often lately and I'm thrilled about that) we took care of business and headed down to the other end of campus to visit the Earl Burns Miller Japanese Garden. Every day at school I would drive by signs for the garden and had been wanting to go since I first enrolled, but due to the pain, I never made my way down there...until this day. I really love the amazing colors and textures of koi fish and with the beautifully clear water it made for some great photos. Here are a few of my favorites from the day's shoot.

I've never seen a bright orange dragonfly before.

I'm in love with the reflection of the lotus in the water.

By the way, this place is totally free! Visit the link above if you want to visit, it's small but it's worth a gander, or better yet, a picnic. I would love to go back with a sketchbook and do a drawing or two, it's very peaceful.

I'm hoping to have many many more posts full of fun photography this summer. Surgery recovery is going extremely well and I'm getting out more and more all the time. I'm seriously feeling more like myself and it's so exciting! I missed my life!!!

One Man's Trash...

2009-06-13T17:13:00.000-07:00

is another's treasure. Today, they are my treasures!!!

Branden and I got up early this morning with plans to hit some garage sales. We didn't have anything in particular in mind, but knowing that we are going to finally move out and have a place of our own next year has been giving both of us a major decorating bug. We've been dreaming up the home we want to build together, something that's a true expression of who we are and nothing pretentious. We both love modern (but homey) designs with some rustic splashes of vintage. We agreed that since neither of us really has money to spend, we wouldn't buy anything unless it was just too good to pass up, and today we hit the jackpot!

My new old Underwood Typewriter.

From what I can tell, the $10 I paid for this baby was a steal since it is in full working condition and is from 1926. She just needs a new ribbon and an extensive cleaning. Any idea how to thoroughly clean an old typewriter? I have no clue!

Antique Tool Box

Meet my new storage system for my studio. I've been searching out a better way to store paints, something that will make them well organized and easy to find the tube of paint I need at any given moment. This is going to be so much better than the rubbermaid tubs they are piled into now. It could be some amazing jewelry storage too. We'll see where it ends up.

Last, but certainly not least, our new trunk/storage box. This thing is huge, all made of wood, complete with many "battle scars," which I love, and best of all, it was ONE DOLLAR! The sweet sweet couple was so eager to get rid of it that they begged us to take it for a buck. We decided that for a deal like that we could talk my mom into letting us make room for it until we move out next year. Hey, it's great storage, right? Now we'll have room for all our garage sale finds for the next year.

We can't wait to sand down the old peeling paint and either stain or paint it to hopefully become a coffee table. Just think of how many board games that thing will hold!!! I'm imagining painting it a fun, modern color and keeping the old hinges with all their patina and rust. There are so many possibilities. This was SO worth getting up early today. It's filthy, but exciting!

After the garage sales, the Bran Man and I went to a matinee of The Hangover. Oh man, it was pretty funny. Although, after hearing how amazingly great it was from everyone else, I felt it didn't quite live up to all the hype. It was funny though, we enjoyed it.

Branden is off to work now and I'm home relaxing.

Today was a great day.

Congratulations Zach!!!

2009-06-12T13:53:00.001-07:00

It seems like just yesterday the thirteen year old version of me went to the hospital with my family to witness the birth of a new baby brother. Yep, I was there, for all of it, and it was amazing. The sweet little baby Zach, who I rocked to sleep more times than I can count, is now 13 years old himself. Yesterday we celebrated a big milestone in baby brother's life with his 8th grade promotion ceremony. I'm still in shock that this kid will be in high school next year! Watch out world!

Zach and friends spotted me, proud big sister, with my camera.

My mom, Rhonda, and Zach.

Andy, Garret, Zach & Nathan. Trouble-makers through and through!

Silly boys.

Proud Momma

Andy, Garret and Zach...thinking he's so suave in his used car-salesman outfit.

My favorite neighborhood kid, Andrew.

Cool kids.

As usual, I gave my mom my point and shoot camera to snap a photo of me and Zach and of course, it was hideous, faraway, and blurry. There's a reason I'm the photographer I guess. Anyway, congratulations Little Bro! Your big sister loves you, even if you try to make her life miserable sometimes.

Backyard Tourism - Big Bear

2009-05-31T03:27:00.000-07:00

In my last post I mentioned how great it is to live in a place where there is so much greatness to experience all around. Branden planned his schedule just right this week and managed to get a whopping four days off in a row! Monday, as you saw, we went to the beach and then, we took full advantage of that time by taking a little trip up to Big Bear to visit his parents. Actually, the reason we went up there wasn't just to visit, although that was wonderful. We've been talking and have officially decided to get married at his parents' house. We even set a date! How exciting is that!?! On August 14, 2010 Branden and I will be married at this lovely and amazing home. Isn't it beautiful!!!! I'm smitten. So many ideas are swirling in my head!

Here he is! My husband to be, relaxing on the lawn, looking toward the sky and finding dinosaurs among the puffy white clouds. I love that he's such a big kid. He's gonna keep me young, I can tell. We worked a bit on taking portraits while we were there and I definitely learned some things that I'm pretty excited about! Yay photography!

The first two days in the mountains were spent looking at hotels and cottages and trying to find as much wedding info and services as possible. It turns out there really isn't a whole lot to choose from up there so we're going to have to get really creative. Thankfully, I'm kind of good at that!

The third and last day up there was our relaxing day. I was exhausted from the go-go-go all week long and just needed some mellow time. A good portion of the day was spent lounging on the porch, dreaming up our wedding day. We measured and mapped out the entire space and let the ideas flow. Branden's parents are so generous for lending their home to host our big day and we are so happy to have all the family involved. I love them already and I'm definitely looking forward to spending more time with them. I feel so blessed that I can say that about my future in-laws.

In between all the daydreams, we enjoyed all the nature the mountains have to offer. Mainly, a whole lot of bird watching. I realize that bird watching sounds like the most boring thing EVER, but with my camera in hand it was an absolute blast trying to capture the quick little guys. Here are some of my favorites.

Here we have the male House Finch. He scurried around with his lady friend and worked to build a nest in a wreath on the front of the house. I love his red coloring.

Again.

This beauty is a Western Bluebird . Once we got home we decided we should try to identify which species of birds we had been watching all day long. So I'm passing on my newly acquired knowledge to you lucky folks.

My favorite little Finch once more, taking a little swiggle from the birdbath. I LOVE his reflection in the water. I'm pretty impressed with myself for the photos I ended up with.

This little fellow is an American Red Breasted Robin. This bird was coupled with another and they spent the whole day hunting for worms and other bugs to feed their hatchlings.

The babies just happen to live in a nest right outside the front door! Every time the mama or daddy bird came with a beak full of bugs the babies would chirp like crazy until they got a bite and then were quiet as can be. This cycle was never ending and somehow we never got bored watching them at work. If you would have told me a couple of years ago that I'd enjoy bird-watching, I would have thought you were insane, but here I am, watching the birds and loving it. What's gotten into me...I don't know.

Of course I wasn't the only one taking pictures all week long.

Here's one of my favorites from Branden this week. It's so much fun to learn together in this little hobby of ours. These cowboy boots have a permanent home on the front porch atop a rustic trunk. Branden's dad is a real life cowboy!

The proof! This black beauty is Cody, Bob's horse. He rides him all over them there mountains. Cody was a lover this week, he came right up to me and let me pet him and then posed for the camera. He really is a gorgeous animal. If I didn't just have back surgery I'd be asking to ride him in a heartbeat!

A few of Cody's shoes hanging around the horseshoe pit.

I was kind of mesmerized by some of Roxanne's (Branden's mom) wind chimes.

Even the individual pine needles were interesting to me.

Before we knew it we were back on the road and headed home.

I drove down the windy mountain to avoid motion sickness. Branden got creative and shot some photos while moving. This one is my favorite of the bunch.

We really had such a great week! I proved to myself that surgery really has been the best decision I've ever made because with all that I did, the pain never increased. I only had some sore and achy muscles, which isn't such a big deal. I'm still working on building my strength and stamina back up, but all in all things are going amazingly well. I'm thanking God every chance I get for continually working things out. I'm feeling more like myself these days and that's a really great place to be. I'm getting more and more active all the time and it's so fantastic!

Backyard Tourism - Huntington Beach

2009-05-30T14:20:00.000-07:00

I've always loved living in California. More specifically, Orange County. It never ceases to amaze me how blessed I am for having grown up here. Within an hour or two we have everything you can dream up. From the snowy mountains, full of fishing and hiking, skiiing or snowboarding, to the endless sunny California beaches, to the city life of Los Angeles, Orange County is really the center of it all. Every once in awhile I have to force myself to wake up and take full advantage of living in such an amazing place. This week was one of those times.

Branden luckily had Memorial Day off since his work is closed (yay!) so we slept in, went to a barbeque with great friends and finally we decided it was far too beautiful a day to just head home so we drove down to the beach. Ah, my old stomping grounds! I grew up only four miles from Huntington Beach. As a kid, my whole family would ride our bikes to the beach and play all day long. Aside from the sunburns (you've seen how pale I am), those were some really great times. As an adult, I've had a love/hate relationship with the beach, mainly because of the fear of more burns and skin cancer and more importantly, the idea of wearing a bathing suit in public, but deep down, I really do love the beach. Memorial Day was absolutely perfect for a walk on the pier.

We watched some surfers in the cold cold water.

I still can't believe this photo came from my own camera! It was such a gorgeous day!

This is one Branden shot and I quite like it! The colors are gorgeous.

This pelican was such a ham! He just stood there lookin' pretty while tons of onlookers photographed him. Branden was terrified because I got closer than most people, but I like to think I'm adventurous like that .

A little more of my new friend.

I've been interested in working on some silhouette shots with my amaeturish photography. This is a decent start I think.

We had an absolutely perfect Memorial Day, which we finished off with some gluten-free pizza from Zpizza...my new favorite place! Gluten-free pizza! And I didn't have to make it myself! Heck yes! Our fun-filled week didn't end here though. Part two of our "staycation" (a lovely word stolen from a fellow blogger friend, Rachel) is coming soon.

Even though I've been to the beach many many times in my life, this was the first time I took my camera. Looking through the lens sometimes helps me to see things in a whole new way. I really felt like a tourist in my own home, and I love that! I've been working on a list of places close to home that I've never been before. It's a great way to take a little time out from daily life and feel like you're on a mini vacation. Even if you only have one day (this week Bran had four), the options are endless! If you live in Southern California, I'd love to know, what are your favorite things to do around town? Favorite day trips? Museums? Beaches? Parks? Anything!?! If you don't live in SoCal, what are your favorite things to do where you live? Who knows, I may visit there one day!

* * * * * * *

P.S.

A special Happy 1st Birthday to the adorable little Declan!

Love you kiddo!

Quite possibly the greatest promotional stunt EVER!

2009-04-29T01:31:00.000-07:00

"More than 200 dancers were performing their version of "Do Re Mi", in the Central Station of Antwerp. With just 2 rehearsals they created this amazing stunt! Those 4 fantastic minutes started the 23 of march 2009, 08:00 AM. It was a promotion stunt for a Belgian television program, where they are looking for someone to play the leading role, in the musical of "The Sound of Music"."

This totally made my day! I'm way jealous of the people in that train station who got to LIVE a musical for four minutes. Amazing, no?!!! This is total proof that I should have gone Belgium when I had the chance. Damn you, Sharon, for missing that plane!!! Excuse me now while I go move The Sound of Music onto the top of my Netflix queue!

The new 'do

2009-04-24T21:26:00.000-07:00

Here we go! I did it.

Ian picked the absolute PERFECT color (of course I'm a little biased), and I totally love it. Dark, warm chocolatey brown, exactly what I asked for.

Ahhhh, change feels good! I almost forgot my eyes could look this blue!

To Be (Blonde) Or Not To Be

2009-04-22T17:33:00.000-07:00

Hello hello! It's been awhile! I've been feeling kinda blegh lately so I took a little break from blogging to stop myself from complaining incessantly. I'm feeling MUCH MUCH MUCH better and I think the worst of it all is over. Yay! It's time to enjoy being me again!

Now that I feel I'm on the "other" side of the bad stuff, I've been feeling like I need a change of some kind. I always kind of feel like big changes need to be seen for some reason, so around big life changes, I usually change my hair. Lately I've been missing being a brunette. I still don't see myself as a blonde at all, which is funny because if you look at a recent picture, that's exactly what you'll see. I never planned on going blonde, never identified with it, I just kept getting highlights and one day I was a blonde. It's been that way for around 5 or 6 years now. Funny how that happened! But I'm thinking that it may be time to go back to my roots. . . but I want to know what you think! I'm going in on Friday to see my great friend and stylist, Ian, so I only have two days to make up my mind. What do you think?

Here's a relatively recent photo of me. My hair's actually a bit longer now but the color is the same. Kinda beachy blonde-ish. Focus on the hair people, I'm in an apron and a bit shiny from cooking like crazy so be kind.

This is an older photo, my natural hair color.

Sorry for the bad scan, I wasn't digital back then! Plus, the cut is bad.

This is what I have in mind! It's a HUGE change from where I'm at now, but I kind of want a big change. I'm thinking like a warm chocolatey brown might be nice, like Ginnifer Goodwin.

Or maybe slightly lighter, like this one. Or maybe it's just in the sunlight.

As far as a cut goes, I have really fine hair (but lots of it) so I like lots of layers. This is very cute! I think I could wear it straight or toussle it up a bit.

Tell me your thoughts! What do you think? Should I go for it? I think I want to but there's a tiny little voice in the back of my head telling me not to change things before I get married. But, I don't even have a wedding date yet so it's going to be well over a year away. Plenty of time to change something if I don't like it...right?

Be a Pal! A Pen Pal!

2009-04-16T02:54:00.001-07:00

Dear Loyal Readers,

Okay folks, I'm throwing this out there one more time to see if I can round up any more super awesome pen pals for some lovely high school students in Turkey who are working on learning English. A friend of mine is putting the whole thing together, trying to help a favorite teacher and more people are still needed, so don't be shy! If nothing else, this could be a GREAT excuse to buy some pretty new stationery! I've always been a sucker for pretty paper and colorful pens! And even more so, I LOVE learning about new cultures so this should be a ton of fun! It's really not a huge commitment, I mean how long does it take to sit down and write a letter, really? Chances are, our penmanship could use the work with all the typing we do these days! So, that's my argument, I hope you will join in and help some kids in a fun little way.

If you are interested, please leave a comment or send me an email with your full name and address and I'll keep y'all updated from there.

Sincerely,

Melissa

(see how much fun that is!?! I can't remember the last time I used the word "sincerely," can you?)

A Good Friday Indeed

2009-04-10T19:29:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the little unplanned hiatus, I haven't been feeling well. I've been having some problems with my painkiller medications. I hate taking them, short and simple. They make me sleepy and nauseous and hurt my stomach. Instead of the described feeling of "euphoria," I feel out of it and just plain WEIRD! To make a long, ugly story short, I was tired of the nausea, got impatient, stopped taking meds far too soon even though I thought I had weaned myself, had severe withdrawals and felt like a crazed drug addict "coming down" like depicted in the movies, complete with the shakes, agitation, sleeplessness, severe muscle pain...and SO much more.

I did a little research and figured out the actual conversion from Fentanyl to Percocet and realized what a HIGH amount of narcotics were in my body. I had no idea. This made sense to me. To avoid any extended misery (the PERFECT word for withdrawals, I hope you never experience this), I went back on the Percocet and almost instantly, I was feeling SO much better. So now, I'm taking a much slower approach. I hope to be free of this nasty stuff within the next month.

I saw my favorite Orthopedic surgeon today, Dr. Jon White, for my 2nd post-op appointment. It's been about 7 weeks since surgery (already!) and the good doc says that I'm "WAY ahead of the curve!" I've never seen that man smile as big as he did today, always a good sign! He was so upbeat and positive and just plain impressed with how well I'm doing (despite everything above). New x-rays had Dr. White beaming from ear to ear with pride and satisfaction. He said my spine couldn't look more perfect. The man did good, and he's proud of it. This is SUCH amazing news to me, of course, because everything is so new and unknown and at the same time it's the same old thing I've been going through for a long time. So for him, with all his expertise, to be so confident and just plain happy about where I am, it rubbed off. I'm freaking ecstatic about today. I still don't feel good, and he agreed that I came off the meds far too quickly and should take it down really slowly over the next few weeks to avoid more withdrawals, but it was a good day anyway. I feel like I can stand up straighter, taller. I feel stable. When I lean over the sink to brush my teeth I don't fear bending too far and losing balance like before. Things are progressing. There's still pain. I still have a lot of work to do, but I'm on my way and knowing that feels really great.

It's time for the next step. Physical therapy. Duh duh duh! The first THREE attempts with PT were disastrous and only increased the amount of pain I was in to the point of being difficult to walk. Of course, that was all before surgery. There's still that little bit of fear in the back of my mind, but that's not important, I'm shutting it out and I'm getting excited to try again. I've been down for so long that I just can't wait to build up some stamina to be somewhat normal again. I shouldn't be exhausted and fatigued after a trip to the grocery store. And soon, I won't be! Yay! I'm not looking forward to the pain of PT, but I can't wait to tighten up some of these core muscles that have been on time-out for two years. Ewe! It's time to get started for sure, I mean, there IS a wedding being planned around here *wink.* That light at the end of this tunnel is getting brighter. Even on a rainy day.

Happy Easter Everybody!

Cat got your pen?

2009-04-08T02:31:00.000-07:00

Hey friends! My lovely and amazing friend, Derya, is currently looking for some native English speakers to be pen pals for some Turkish high school students at her old high school. She lives here in Orange, California now, but she is from Turkey and is trying to help out one of her old teachers. So far she only has a few participants and with 90 students, each in need of a pen pal, I thought I'd do what I can to help out. The point of the letters is to help the students learn English and I know more than a few of my friends (ahem! you know who you are) have quite the passion for teaching English to people who are learning it as a second language. I...no. WE would really appreciate anyone willing to join our ranks and write an occasional letter to some wonderful kids in Turkey. If not for the kids, do it for this pretty lady:

Aside from writing some letters myself, I'm obviously trying to recruit. So, if you would be interested, please let me know! If you know me personally, I'll get your address somehow. Otherwise, you can email me by visiting my profile here, and click on my email address on the left hand side. Please leave your full name and address (including country if outside the U.S.). I will keep you updated from there! Thank you all in advance! You would be doing a fun little thing that would greatly help kids learn English in a fun way. Besides, how much fun would it be to explore another culture by the tip of your pen!?! I'm excited!

It's a beautiful day. . .

2009-03-31T15:34:00.001-07:00

Phew! I'm feeling MUCH better today! I've hidden that hideous tea in the back of my fridge so I don't even have to look at it again. I must have had some kind of severe allergic reaction to it because my mom has been drinking the stuff for a couple of days now with no issues whatsoever. That's just my kinda luck I guess. Oh well, I'm just glad today is a far better day.

This week Branden is out of school for spring break. Yay, someone to keep me company all day, I love it! He's been out in the backyard, working hard to plant some new fruit trees. We are adding another navel orange tree, a combo citrus tree that will yield mandarin oranges and kumquats, and a wonderful avocado tree. Hopefully we can keep the avocado tree alive this time, my mom killed our last one. I've been researching it though, and as a team, we're feeling good about this one, mmmm! I LOVE having fruit trees and fresh veggies and herbs in our backyard! That's one thing that I will be so sad to leave behind when Branden and I will finally move into a place of our own. I can still have potted herbs, but most likely we'll be in an apartment or condo where trees are a no go. We are totally excited to pretty up our current backyard though because there's a great chance that our wedding reception will be held there. Nothing is for sure just yet, but we both love the idea of having weddings and receptions in places that are important to us instead of some country club or ballroom. Not that there's anything wrong with those places, I've been to some truly beautiful, fun weddings there, but it's just not for us. Our wedding will be small and intimate, just how we like things. Oh man, we're so excited!

Since I'm feeling good today, we are planning on taking a little drive down to the Brea Farmer's Market so I can get out of the house and walk around while giving in to my favorite (and healthy) indulgence this time of year...more STRAWBERRIES!!!! I could live off of them, I swear. I've always loved having my birthday in March for no reason other than I get to partake in eating my absolute favorite food. Yum! They better have some good ones, I'm even willing to get out of bed to get them! While we're there, I figure I'll make good on my plan to eat more raw fruits and veggies to get my body working properly again. I can't tell you just how much I adore the local Farmer's Markets. The produce is incredible! I can't wait! I'm sure it will feel good to get out of the house, even if just for a short time. It's time to start building my stamina back up...I'm on my way to normalcy. The light at the end of my tunnel is getting brighter.

Detox

2009-03-30T17:48:00.000-07:00

For the past week I've been feeling pretty sick...off and on. I don't have a cold. I don't have the flu. I'm not actually sick, but I feel sick anyway. I'm usually pretty in touch with my body and what's going on within, so for me, it's not rocket science, I know what the problem is. I'm incredibly sensitive to many medications and I believe that my after-surgery meds are starting to get to me. It's happened a few times before over the years. Every time I start taking painkillers for an extended period of time, it builds up and eventually I start to get super nauseous, dizzy and weak and really emotional. I make THE WORST drug addict! Seriously, I don't know how people do this sort of thing for fun. It's not fun in the least! It's miserable!

Okay, so the first step to feeling better would obviously be to get off the meds if possible, right? Right. Well, I've been slowly weaning myself off of the painkillers I was taking in pill form. My pain has definitely lessened enough to do it, so I did, and now I'm not taking any pills. I'm still counting on my Fentanyl patch (another painkiller) to keep me moving, and the Dr. told me to finish the prescription, so being the good patient that I am, I'm listening.

So, where do I go from there? I'm off the awful pills, pain levels are pretty darn good, but I'm still feeling terrible. I had been thinking about doing some sort of detox and before I could even figure out what would be the best way to do it, my mom came home with the same idea and a detox tea that was recommended by an alternative medicine loving nurse friend. So, today was the big day. My mom spent the weekend brewing up this specialized tea with crazy complicated directions and this morning I was to slowly sip a cup of this stuff one hour before breakfast.

First thing this morning I fixed myself a cup of tea. Smelled it. Tasted it. Not nearly as horrible as I thought it would be, it was just somewhat bland tea. I thought this was going to be a great way to do this since the product is entirely organic and herbal, and supposedly SO gentle that it can be given to children as old as 2, and even pets. Well. . . it would be my luck that no later than five minutes after I finished my cup of tea, I felt weird and sick and the tea, in all its gentility, came right back up. I'm sure this isn't something you all wanted to know about me, but before this morning, I can't remember the last time I threw up. I despise the action and avoid it at all costs. Not only do I make a horrible drug addict, I could never EVER be bulimic either. The damn tea didn't even have time to start the whole detox process! That's just how fast it made me hurl. I won't be drinking that again...EVER. Even just looking at it in the fridge has the potential to bring back the dry heaves. Lovely. Fantastic. Just how I wanted to start my day....my week! Ugh. So, I'm still not feeling so hot, even worse now than I was last week. Time to find a plan B. I'm thinking I'll just watch my diet and work on eating lots of raw veggies and fruits for the nutrients and let my own organs do their job cleaning all the junk out of my body. I'm beat!

100 & 27

2009-03-25T03:44:00.001-07:00

This is my 100th post! *insert noisemaker sound here* When I started this blog last summer, I never thought I would reach 100 entries, but here we are and it has been so much FUN! I'm totally addicted to blogging, it's ridiculous really, but I love it. I tend to be a pretty quiet person in my real life, but when I can write, I can really say what's on my mind. It's fantastic! I'm sure now that I'll reach another 100 posts in no time flat!

* * *

It's my birthday today! YAY!

*again, time for noisemakers*

I had planned on a mellow day. Actually, I didn't really make any plans at all since I can't really go anywhere, but 3 of my best friends ever thought they should be around to celebrate my 27th birthday with me and invited themselves over. I got some great, quality time with all three of them and I seriously had the best day, it was fantastic!!! My time with each of them kind of overlapped and then I got alone time with each one of them too. How perfect! Any time with friends is fun, but I love my one on one quality time too. I love getting to really talk. Today was perfect for just that.

I even had a special delivery! Flowers and a cupcake all in one! How cute is that?!? Of course it came from my baker friend, who else could find cake shaped flowers??? So perfect since I didn't have your typical birthday cake, so I blew out this candle instead. It's seriously adorable! Having things delivered is so much fun! Thanks Jessica!

Chantel was the first to arrive. This here is the cutest baby EVER, Colton. His momma (and daddy who was working) are very dear to my heart and I had great fun chatting with her while he ran around my house and attempted to eat my "cupcake." It smells pretty, but I assure you it can't taste good!

I love you guys!

A little while later, my amazing friend Amanda dropped in. She brought me more flowers! I can't believe people are still bringing me flowers, it rocks! She was so proud that she knew what all of my favorite flowers were, and of course she was right on. These super deep pink tulips are incredibly gorgeous! The flowers were only the beginning of her generosity. I got some amazing news from my friend that I'm still in shock about. Pinch me! It can't be real! I loved spending time with her today.

These luscious Gerbera Daisies were accompanying the tulips. I love love love it all!

Chantel left while Amanda was here and then Sharon dropped in. Guess what? She brought me flowers TOO! It's my lucky day! Sharon is my best friend in the whole entire world. We've been through a ton together, had some wild adventures and I was so happy to see her on my birthday. It wouldn't be a birthday without her! She also knows my favorite flowers and thought "tulips!" but something deterred her from her usual flower path today, so she brought me these incredible beauties instead! Everyone who gave me flowers today brought different kinds, it couldn't be more perfect. This one has spray roses, snapdragons, alstroemerias and more...it's gorgeous! This may be a little biased, but I really love the care and thought my friends take even in bringing flowers. They didn't have to bring anything at all and I'd be happy just to see them, and it would be more than plenty to hand over a pre-made bouquet, but nooooooooo, I got a special delivery and two handpicked bouquets. I'm so freaking lucky!

Rustic perfection.

I'm still not up for much going out since I'm still recovering from surgery, so we got some fantastic BBQ take-out from Lucille's. My mom trekked on down and dinner arrived just as Branden got home. Perfect! Everything was absolutely delicious, I can't wait for my leftovers tomorrow! And of course, it wouldn't be a birthday without dessert. . .we got their decadent Flourless Chocolate Cake (wheat free, hooray!). It was amazing.

After dinner Amanda had to leave, so Branden and I got some quality time alone with Sharon. We reminisced about good old times and not so good old times that happen to be fun to talk about now. She told us some of her famously long and silly stories. We talked about weddings and exciting times. Oh man, what a great day! The fact that three of my closest friends were here today made me that much more excited for all the wedding festivities that are coming my way relatively soon. The three of them will be there for all of it and I can't wait for more super fun times. Thanks ladies for making my 27th a really great birthday. I love every one of you.

Let's not forget Branden. I've often told you all just how fantastic he is, but it just gets better and better. Awhile ago I mentioned how much I wanted a macro lens for my digital SLR camera, but they are super crazy expensive and not a reality...pretty much ever, for us. Branden really surprised and impressed me by going out of his way to join flickr groups for Orange County (where we live) just to see if anyone local had a used macro lens for sale. Boy did he do good! He found TWO! They were totally in our budget, and each is for a different use, which is nice, so we were able to buy them both. We're having a blast playing with our new toys. I love macro photography (closeup) and I just can't put my camera down now. I love that we can share this hobby and learn together. We decided that starting today, we're going to do a Photo-A-Day thing where we grab our cameras to take one great picture every day. Can't guarantee that they'll all be great, but that's the goal. It can only help us get better. I have plenty of photos to choose from today...head on over to my art blog to see which I chose!

It Never Fails...

2009-03-23T01:37:00.000-07:00

No matter how hard I try, I simply cannot ever stay away from Old Navy. If I were buying new clothes right now (which I'm not), I would be buying this little number. I looooooove a cute little dress when the weather gets warm! So cute! But alas, it's just not meant to be. I refuse to buy any new clothing until I'm well into physical therapy and back at the gym. Plus, there's the whole I-need-to-save-money-for-a-wedding thing. Unless of course the price drops to about $8, then I'll get over it and give in. Until then...maybe you will enjoy the adorable summer items they have in stock at the moment. *Sigh*

Words I Live By

2009-03-22T04:20:00.000-07:00

As someone who is generally very sensitive to those around her, it's incredibly difficult for me to not care what other people think about me. It's something I've had to work on in the past couple of years with a disability (for lack of a better word) that has led to quite a bit of judgement. My chronic pain is difficult for so many reasons, but one of the less obvious is that to the outsider, everything looks fine. I look like any other healthy 26 year old woman, which has led people to judge unfairly. There are people I know who think I'm lazy and just trying to get out of working. It's hurtful and it couldn't be farther from the truth. I would much rather be working a job that I hate than sitting in my house in enough pain to make every breath a chore. While those closest to me have been very empathetic and understanding, those other people are out there too, but I've learned (for the most part) to just let it go. I know the truth and those who don't care enough to step outside themselves for a moment are not worth my emotions. I realize now that I know who I am better than most and I happen to like who I am, and who I want to become. Doing my own thing is the best thing I could be doing.

It gets me through every pain-filled day I've ever had. I've learned from my mistakes, and the down-and-out times in life. There's always a reason, or at the very least, a lesson to be learned.

I wouldn't be anyone but me. I like me.

I love this because it can work in so many situations. I think any type of love is a choice to look beyond another's imperfections. We are all imperfect. Life is difficult. Happiness is a choice. It's nice to be able to step back and realize that I am genuinely happy even in the most difficult times. I've been blessed with my love, my friends, my family, my talents, my opportunities and I'm always thankful for those things in my life. Looking past my own imperfections is the difficult part!

These are my newest words to live by. I've been graced with a substantial amount of time over the past two years and if nothing else, I've learned how important it is to reach for your dreams. Don't settle for less, you never know if you can do it until you try. I'm trying. I'm looking forward to doing more and more to achieve my goals and my dreams with each healing day. I plan to come through this loooong struggle a much better, more fulfilled person.

WHAT ARE YOUR WORDS TO LIVE BY? YOUR MOTTO?

photos from here

In your face, bunnies!

2009-03-15T19:44:00.000-07:00

Last spring while planting my favorite herbs and zucchini, I decided to make a special little place to plant my all time favorite flowers...poppies. I watched them sprout and grow and with growing excitement and anticipation I waited for them to bloom. Maybe once a week or so I'd head out to that part of our garden, just under our plum trees, to see how they were doing. Finally, after several months, I saw a single bud. It was large and healthy and with only a hint of red peeking out at me, I knew full blooms were near.

The very next day I anxiously made a bee-line, hoping my patience had paid off. But no...the oh so cute little bunnies that hang out and feast on our grass several times a day got to them before I did. The plants continue to grow, but now, after an entire year, I have never seen my poppies bloom. The obvious answer would have been to simply move the pot, but it's far too heavy for me to lift and so it stayed. It seemed so unimportant to burden anyone with help moving it. Branden's muscles are saved for far more important jobs ; )

Anyway, I let the bunnies continue and feast for now.

On Valentine's Day, Branden woke me up with a kiss and a card, and the most perfect potted poppies I could have asked for. He's so cute! My mom has been taking care of them while I've been a bit out of it and they are even more gorgeous than before. Although the pain has been getting much better, I had a rough week for entirely different reasons. I've been a bit down. Thankfully though, between the perfect Valentine's Day gift, and some super generous friends bringing over flowers to brighten up my boring stuck-in-the-house days, I'm surrounded by life and color and I can't wait to get these babies in the ground! But this time, the bunnies will be forbidden, I have a nice HIGH pot for my beautiful blooms! Take that, bunnies!

I love flowers of all kinds, but potted plants are even better because they continue to live and bloom for years and years. What a fantastic gift!

Here are some of my little pretties that have been helping to lift my spirits!

Poppies, Tulips, and Ranunculas. So pretty.

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I've always been a fan of Polaroids, there's just a certain amount of nostalgia that comes with them. Sadly, polaroid film has been discontinued for awhile now, but not wanting to disappoint, they've created a whole new way to change any photo into a polaroid. Get the look by visiting Polaroid.net to download the super easy application (for Mac too!).

Thanks again to Branden, Matt, Adrienn, Bob and Roxanne for all the gorgeous flowers! You're all too good to me!

Aqua and Gold

2009-03-14T22:02:00.000-07:00

All of this free time I have on my hands at the moment has been incredibly conducive to my newfound love of wedding blogs. Can you tell? I've been kind of sticking with my love of the marigold/golden yellow color for the moment. The truth is that I have no idea whatsoever what colors I will ultimately end up with, but it sure is fun to dream up the big day, one color at a time. One of my favorite wedding blogs, Snippet & Ink, featured these muse boards recently and I'm totally in love with them! I think I like the gold with the aqua just as much as the pink....possibly even more. I just love how delicate and romantic they are. They're just so pretty I had to share!

The Visitors

2009-03-12T01:49:00.000-07:00

Since I've been home from the hospital, I've been pretty out of it, sleeping on and off throughout the days, but my new meds are really helping me perk up and feel halfway human again. Walking is getting easier and easier everyday. The pinched nerves in my legs have lessened immensely so I've become a stair-climbing master once again, as long as I hold on to the rail because I still get the shakes. Since my post-op appointment went so well, I have high hopes for the future and I can't get there fast enough. In the meantime, I'm starting to feel just good enough to be totally bored. I still can't do a whole lot, but being more alert leaves me wanting for stimulation other than the boob tube. I just started a new book, but it doesn't take long for me to feel like a recluse, so human contact is even better. As life goes on around me, my family (Branden included) have been gone most of the time with work, school and little league. I spend most of my days with the dog...he's lucky he's so lovable!

But days like today are made better by my awesome friends coming to visit. It's so nice to receive a little bit of the outside world (as Ashley so accurately described it) when I'm stuck in the house. I still can't drive because of pain, but also because I'm so highly medicated that I just don't think it's a great idea. So it's been so sweet for the occasional visitor to make time to drop by even for just a short time. I've been lucky enough to have friends willing to come have a meal or whatever with me once or twice a week. Sometimes, when I'm really lucky, one of them will bring along one of their adorable little babies. Today Becky, and her super adorable son, Declan, brought over some lunch and stayed awhile to catch up. Of course, ogling the cute baby is how I spend most of my time with my mommy friends, using all of my will power not to pick up and play with the too-heavy-to-lift kidlets. They're just so cute, it's hard to resist! We did get a chance (thanks to Branden's love of playing with babies) to talk a little bit too. Ah yes. Grown-up, two-sided, in-person conversation. Golden. It's seriously the best part of the day!

I'm thinking this week will be a particularly great week because I get to see Ashley tomorrow and my long lost friend, Adrienn, on Saturday. I'm thrilled!!!!!!!

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Speaking of books and dogs... this is the book I'm reading: The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time. Branden is taking a specialized class in Autism, and it's been pretty fascinating so far. I love psychology so I really enjoy it when Bran comes home and fills me in on the new things he's been learnin' in that there fancy school. He was required to read this book because it was written by someone with Autism and he thought I would enjoy it too. I've only read about 1/4 of it so far, but it's really interesting. It doesn't read like a typical book, and it's a great insight into the mind of someone (albeit a high functioning version) of Austism. It's been on the bestseller lists so it probably appeals to a wider audience than I've described. If you like books that are a bit different, or are interested in Autism, I would recommend this. I can't wait to finish it!

Mulberry Muse

2009-03-07T21:25:00.000-08:00

I was thinking today about what I might want the theme of my wedding to be. Not that I want my wedding to be all THEME-Y or anything, but there are certain things that I want to be included...things that represent Branden and myself and what we stand for as individuals and as a couple. I don't want to ruin the whole thing by telling you all of the fun little details I'm planning to include, but this is all so much fun I just can't resist giving you a little peak of what's going on inside my head, from time to time. Today I thought it might be neat to use our engagement story for a little inspiration. I love the way Branden proposed. It's romantic and just SO perfect for me. My favorite museum. My favorite painting. French impressionism and lots of color. Oh. My. Goodness! How perfect. So today I took the prominent colors from the famous work of art to inspire this Muse Board. I'm really quite loving it actually! The marigold is still there, which is great. My friend, Heather, had yellow with a touch of blue as her wedding colors (which I only know from photos), and it was really quite beautiful. Something to think about I guess. I have so many wedding day inspirations right now, it's gonna be hard to narrow it down when I have to actually start finalizing things. But isn't it fun!?!

Poster Child - An Update.

2009-03-07T15:14:00.000-08:00

The past few days have been pretty difficult for me. I'm still in a ton of pain, but everyone around me is amazed at how well I seem to be doing. I'm doing well, I know that, every day is another baby step toward total recovery, but it doesn't change the fact that right now IT HURTS! Every step I take, every slight movement I make is absolutely excruciating, and that's with all the painkillers. I'm feeling better now than I was in the first week, but it's almost more difficult that way. I feel just good enough to be totally bored, because I still can't do anything. Ugh. I've been through these times before and they just seem so long and drawn out even though I know they always come to an end. I know it's only been two weeks but the severity of the pain in my spine has been scaring me a bit. My logical self tells me that I just had a major spine surgery that has a projected 6-12 months recovery time and I need to be patient, BUT my emotional and physical self is already exhausted from this pain and in fear of it. It's hard to see this amount of pain as being normal.

Yesterday I had my first post-op appointment with Dr. White (my surgeon). It went smashingly! They took new x-rays and the doctor walked me over to take a look at them and talk me through what I was looking at. Basically, he said that everything looks absolutely perfect. SO perfect in fact, that I should be a poster child for this particular surgery. The artificial disc is in the perfect position and the fusion looks great too. After discussing my pain issues with him, we worked out some new meds hoping it would take care of the intensity. He told me that the pain, in all it's severity, is perfectly normal for someone like me, who has had a long, drawn out battle with this back injury. After being in so much pain for so many years, it's going to take awhile after surgery to get to a more normal point. I was totally relieved to hear that the pain is normal and that he understood my concerns. He's the best doctor, I totally love him! He expressed concerns that I was taking too many painkillers, worried about my being at the level of liver toxicity. So he revamped my meds a bit and I'm SO glad!! I'm to cut my Percocet intake in half and I was given some muscle relaxers and Fentanyl patches. Fentanyl is my best friend. I've had it several times over the past few years when I've had to undergo painful procedures like epidurals and myelograms. It doesn't come in pill form so what I have is a little patch that stays on the skin for three days administering a continuous low dose of the drug.

With my new prescriptions, I awoke today with less pain! Usually the pain is at its worst when I first wake up since I haven't had meds all night long, but with the patch, that wasn't a problem. As of today I'm doing better and I hope and pray that it continues! Maybe I'll even make something pretty today...we'll see.

Thanks again to all of you amazing people who have been praying for me and checking in and visiting to see see how I'm doing and keeping me company. Every time I see your smiling faces it totally brightens up my day. A girl can only watch so much terrible TV!

To those of you who haven't even acknowledged the fact that I just underwent a surgery that had a risk of DEATH, now I know who my real friends are, and I'm a little bit disappointed in you, one person in particular who was supposed to be one of my best friends, think about it. I hope you figure out who you are. I don't mean to be dramatic, but I would have been there to see YOU in a heartbeat...or at least ask how you were doing. Whatev. I'm a little hurt.

Out of the kindness of my heart

2009-03-04T21:30:00.001-08:00

Since I've been home from the hospital I've had lots of "thinking of you" texts and messages asking how I'm doing. It's so nice to know that you've all been thinking of me so I've been trying to give you all little updates here and there, so here's another update. I was doing pretty good until now. I'm actually still doing fine, I'm just a bit traumatized at the moment. For the past few days I've had this insatiable itching around my incision. After scratching off a layer or two of skin around the surgical tape, I was finally starting to feel a bit relieved. Today I decided to take a little peek and the skin under the tape is bright red and almost raw. Gross. I know. Apparently I've had a pretty intense allergic reaction going on but since I've been taking Benadryl around the clock with my pain meds, I didn't realize just how bad it was. I'm officially adding "steri strips" to my list of allergies. I was tempted to take a picture of the disaster that is now my tummy, but out of the sincere kindness of my heart, I've decided to spare you all the horror and disgust that would result in showing you photos. I'm avoiding mirrors for at least a week. . .starting NOW. I'm sure things will clear up as soon as I can manage to get the adhesive residue completely off my body, but knowing this doesn't change the fact that this is seriously the most horrific thing I've ever seen happen to my body. EVERY. Ewe!

For the love of cooking

2009-03-03T18:08:00.000-08:00

Since I decided that Branden is absolutely the right man for me, I've not only been excited to marry, but also excited to build a life and home of our very own, from the ground up. We can't wait to register for our upcoming wedding...that has to be one of the most fun things about getting married! We have a lot of shopping and deciding to do in the near future, but there's one thing I have all figured out. Dishes.

I hate my mom's dishes. They're old fashioned, adorned with flowers, full of nicks and dings and just plain wrong. I love love love to cook and I love to make my food look pretty. If I had things my way, every night dinner would be served restaurant style, complete with garnishes to pretty things up a bit. Cooking is just one more art form for me, and I love it when my finished product looks almost too good to eat. Almost. My ideal dishes are ones that are white. Plain white and clean and fresh looking. But not too modern. I love the modernity and freshness of plain white to show off my gorgeous food, but in addition to that, I like things with a vintage touch. I've found the perfect thing. Since I have no desire to register for any sort of Fine China, I want something that is simple enough for everyday, but that can be jazzed up for a fancier dinner party. Pottery Barn is going to take care of all of those things for me with their lovely Emma Collection. Isn't it SO pretty!?! Yeah, we've actually started our registry with them, my mind is made up on these beauties and I can't wait!

I just can't hide it!

2009-03-02T21:24:00.000-08:00

As I said yesterday, I've hit the ground running with the whole wedding planning thing. I've been holding back until after surgery, but the time has come and gone and now I get to think of happier times. And what's happier than my wedding day? I've done a bunch of little photo collages of things that have been catching my eye over time just to see how it all works together. So far so good. I'm absolutely IN LOVE with this deep golden yellow/marigold color. Much to my own surprise, I'm loving pink too. I never thought I would be that girly, but here goes nothin'! Here's a little more of my inspiration:

Branden and I are enjoying dreaming up our perfect day together. I'm so glad that he's the type of guy that likes to be involved with the planning process, I think that's how it should be. I like that he has an opinion, but that his opinion usually likes the same things I do...lucky me! Nothing is set in stone. We don't have a date just yet, or any funds, but we're working on it. Tax refunds, student loans, in the bank you go!

We do know a couple of things for sure though. We want to be as "green" as possible in our planning and execution of the wedding. We don't want to spend a lot of money on things that will be only used once, and we don't want to create a lot of waste. We won't do any favors that can just be thrown away (no worries, you'll all get something) and we'll probably skip a lot of the extra paper components like menus and programs and such. I'm hoping we can buy a suit that Bran can wear over and over to work and on other special occasions. I don't want any black. I want everything outdoors and very colorful and organic. I want it to be FUN! Neither of us are big dancers so we're looking for other creative fun things to work into our big day to help us spend time with our loved ones. I have some really great ideas so far, but we're still brainstorming. I'm hoping to have several out-of-towners come in for it and I want to really spend some quality time with everyone. It's going to be a smaller affair, which is perfect for us. We want to do a lot of it ourselves. I'm a crafty lady and the though of DIY-ing my wedding sounds like a blast to me. Oh my gosh, I seriously can't wait, I'm so excited!!!

End of Hiatus

2009-03-01T23:49:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone! Although I managed to post some hospital pics, I haven't been up to actually writing anything until now. Even now, I'm tired and wondering why I'm forcing myself to blog, but I guess I just miss it.

So far I'm doing really well. Today was the best day I've had yet. The hospital stay was incredibly painful, I spent the whole time completely doped up...so much so that I only vaguely remember what went on for those three days. I was able to get up and walk around in the hospital, even climbed some stairs, so I was released to go home early that Friday. I still can't believe how short my stay was, it's only a flash in my memory.

Going home was really difficult but it was still nice to be home again. The pain was the worst I've ever felt in my life (and at this point that's saying a whole lot), but I think the hardest part is over now. Yay! For the first week I had to walk with a walker, only able to take very slow, very small steps to and from the bathroom. Showering was interesting. For the first time in about 20 years I needed help bathing. My mom had to wash me like I was a 5 year old, it was a strange experience but I'm just thankful she was able to be there to help. I needed help drying off, getting dressed, and absolutely every other teeny tiny detail of daily life. I had one week of complete and total dependence on those around me which is extremely difficult for me to deal with. I've always been really independent and it's been a bit of an adjustment for me. The most difficult thing though, of course, has been pain. Oh man. SO MUCH PAIN! The pain is different from my previous pain, so that's a good sign. The surgery went perfectly. My wonderful surgeon, Dr. Jon White, said that there were no surprises and he was able to really clean up the areas where the discs were spilling out, pushing on my nerves. I'm officially bionic! He thinks that once the recovery process is nearing an end, I should feel MUCH MUCH better. It's good news. The hardest part is over! I made it!

My mom and Branden are back to work so I'm on my own here now. For the most part it's okay, but some things are really difficult still to do on my own. I'm not supposed to bend at the waist or twist at all. The goal is let the spine area heal without creating a lot of new scar tissue that could build up on the nerves and cause new problems. I have to be really careful not to bend over, especially now that I'm starting to feel halfway human again. I have to really focus to pay attention to my every move, all the little movements that I usually take for granted are now carefully monitored. It's strange. I'm supposed to go see my doctor this week for a post-op appointment. I should get some xrays then that I can bring home to show you, I'm totally excited to see them, is that weird? Maybe. Oh well.

It's going to be quite awhile before I'm really going to be "back to normal" again. The first week was without a doubt the most difficult, but I'm nowhere near ready to drive or stay out of bed for an entire day, so I have awhile left to go. Besides, I'm still on loads of painkillers that make me sleep all day. When I'm not sleeping though, I've been lying in bed reading bridal magazines and blogs and everything wedding related. Branden and I couldn't set a date until after surgery, and now it's over! So let the planning begin! I'm SO excited! We've been talking about our wedding constantly and I'm so excited that it's starting to feel real. Now we just need some money...that's another story! But anyway, I'm thrilled to be engaged. I can't wait to marry the man of my dreams. Branden is amazing and we're totally made for each other.

My other half and I have been talking and dreaming about our wedding day for some time now, and we have a good start so far. It will be something small and intimate. I have no desire to have a wedding in some big, cold ballroom and not see any of my loved ones. I have some things in mind to make it fun and unique and I can't wait! I've had some specific colors in mind for awhile, but I haven't decided anything for sure just yet. Here's a little sneak peek at what I'm falling in love with for now. Don't be surprised if this quickly turns into a wedding blog!

Hospital Stay

2009-02-24T01:21:00.000-08:00

Yours truly, forcing a post-op smile. Yay, it's over!

Me, looking like death in the background.

My view.

My room. It was actually kind of peaceful. I'm still shocked that I had my own room, how nice!

The all important allergy bracelets.

My IV and pain pump. The good stuff!

My hand is still bruised from all the needle pokes. Here you can see the happy little smiley face my mom drew on me for the anesthesiologist.

The most incredibly high tech, insanely comfortable hospital bed on the planet. I wish I could have brought this baby home with me. I'd never get out of bed.

The all-too-familiar pain scale. I've been rating my pain by this bad boy for years now.

I even got a special fancy schmancy toilet extender. I'm not supposed to bend much, so this raised the seat up to avoid the bending.

My wonderful future in laws had some gorgeous flowers sent to me in the hospital. They are the sweetest people!

So sweet.

I got some best friend balloons too! Thanks Sharon!

I'm home now, but I leave you with one last photo in the hospital. The time really flew by, and a lot of it is really fuzzy. I'm home now and working through the crazy pain. Every day gets better and better.

The procedure went really well. My surgeon thinks it will be a great success once all is healed. He assured me that I should feel MUCH much better in coming months. Yay!

Visitation Information

2009-02-17T00:05:00.000-08:00

I know that there are a few of you out there who are planning to visit me in the hospital. I've been reading my little rules booklet and I've summed up the need-to-know parts for you below. If for some reason you aren't allowed to come visit, you can always come visit when I get home!

St. Joseph's Hospital in Orange

Main and La Veta

Wednesday 2/18/09

I should be in the hospital for three days.

Visitation Rules:

A maximum of 2 visitors may be with the patient at one time.

Visitation hours are from 8am-8pm.

For health reasons, it is recommended that children under 2 years of age remain home unless there are special circumstances. (Sorry to all the babies out there!)

Children under 12 years of age are not permitted.

Friends and relatives who have colds, respiratory symptoms or other contagious illnesses are asked not to visit anyone in the hospital.

That being said, I can't believe it's only one more day away. It's kind of surreal right now. I went through a sort of grieving process, getting over the fact that my body, as I know it now, will never be the same again. I've been scared and excited all at the same time. Right now I'm just really calm. It's probably the calm before the storm. I'm sure Wednesday morning, when I walk into the hospital and spend two hours waiting for surgery, I'll be a hot mess. The waiting is the worst part. I'm glad Sean will be there to make me laugh through the waiting, hopefully that will be enough of a distraction to keep the intense anxiety at bay.

I want to thank all of you who have been there for me through all of this. I believe that these years of pain have left me a bit of a different person, but I really have learned a lot in the process. It has changed me, I think for the better, but I'm excited for Fun Melissa to find her way back out into the world! Thanks for not just thinking of me, but my whole family. It means a lot to me that my amazing friends (especially Sean and Chantel) just KNOW that Branden will be anxious too, and that this kind of thing affects the whole family, not just me. I'm so blessed to not only have my family, but to have my church family to help us all get through this. I wouldn't trade you guys for the world! Thanks for making things as easy for me as possible. I love you!!!

The Countdown Begins

2009-02-11T12:43:00.000-08:00

I'm already so exhausted from thinking about all the things I have to do to get ready for surgery! All I want to do is take a nap, but that's not very productive now is it? Oh well, nighty night!

xoxoxo

SURGERY TIME!

2009-02-09T16:06:00.001-08:00

I just got news that I officially have a surgery date, and it's REALLY soon. It's only 8 days away! YIKES! I'm glad it's coming sooner rather than later, so I don't have enough time to start freaking out again, there's too much to do to prepare instead.

FEBRUARY 18th @ 12:15pm

St. Joseph's Hospital

Hybrid: Spinal Fusion + Total Disc Replacement

Basically, I'm having one of each of the things pictured here.

The photo on the left is a spinal fusion, which will happen at my lowest level, L5-S1, which will including some intense Titanium hardware. The level right above that will have an artificial disc called a ProDisc, which is exactly what you see here. Crazy huh? I'm becoming bionic. Scary stuff.

The surgery lasts about two hours. I'll be in the hospital for three days. It's possible I could go home after two, or it's possible I'll be staying an extra day, it all depends on how I'm doing. I have to go get some blood work done tomorrow, accompanied by a chest x-ray and an EKG so I can get surgery clearance. So it looks like I'll be in the hospital Wednesday, Thursday and Friday and I should be home by the weekend. I've never stayed in a hospital overnight, I'm kinda freaking out about that, but my mom promised me she'll be there. Branden is taking a few days off of work to be there too, but he still has to go to school on Thursday. I have no idea what visitation is like, or what the hours are, but I know a lot of you have been on this crazy pain-filled journey with me, so if you want to stop by and visit, I suppose I have to let you, huh? I'm sure it would be nice to see some friendly faces after I've been cut open and doped up. I should be up and walking the same day as the surgery...how amazing is that!?! I'm still in shock with that one, it's amazing what they can do these days.

All in all I'm feeling okay, a little anxious, but not as bad as when I first got approval. I'm just trying to focus on getting things ready. I'm going to try to cook a bunch of meals so I have food ready to eat after surgery. It's difficult to depend on other people with my gluten-free diet, so I'll just have to cook extra everything all this week and see where that gets me. It'll be tricky. My doctor told me that I'll probably want to be downstairs for about 6 weeks, my bedroom is upstairs, and so are all of our showers. We have a lot of things to figure out. I better get started! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Wanna hear something funny?

2009-02-04T02:49:00.000-08:00

I recently picked up my W-2s from work (where I don't actually work because I'm on worker's comp leave for my back) and it's some seriously funny stuff. I made a WHOPPING $3,000. Oh man! I knew it would be small, but seriously? I usually make ten times that! Oh, planning a wedding on this budget is gonna be a blast huh?

I wonder if I even have to file for taxes? If I don't file can I still get Barack's promised stimulus package??? Because I could use that! Oye vey.

THIS JUST IN

2009-01-29T17:16:00.000-08:00

Apparently today is the day I've been waiting for, but I'm more in shock than I would have thought. I got a phone call from my surgeon to let me know that my surgery has finally been approved. Good news? Yes, but it's absolutely terrifying! I just had a good friend tell me that I should be bouncing off the walls with excitement right now, but I can barely speak, I'm so scared. Fear easily gets the best of me.

Even so, I know that this is what I need. I've gone back and forth (many times) with wondering if surgery is the right thing or not. I've been praying for the right answer, for a long time now. I'm blessed enough to have friends and family praying for me too, and I couldn't have made it this far (with my sanity in tact) without them. As unbelievably terrified as I am, I believe in God and I have faith that this is all happening according to His perfect timing.

Within the past six months or so a lot has happened for me. I opened my Etsy shop over the summer which has really been a great instrument in keeping me of sound mind. I was totally going crazy at home all the time with nothing productive to do. I was totally depressed. I had cabin fever and it was wearing on me emotionally in a really big way, but I found something I could do and I did it. I did it well! It's been such a neat experience learning about running a (very) small business as an independent artist. I'm sure I still have a huge amount left to learn, but I've enjoyed it so far. Selling jewelry has been a great time-killer and a lot of fun, but what has really been an amazing experience is selling my paintings.

Being a professional artist has been my heart's deepest desire since I was a young child, but for some reason or another I never thought it was possible. Since I've been immersed with artists of all kinds lately, who actually live off of their art/craft, I have a new confidence about what I once thought was impossible. I really think that God gave me just enough time at home to gain some real perspective and rediscover how much I love to create. I've always defined myself as an artist, it's when I'm most truly myself, but when I get caught up in life and all of its business, I've allowed myself to throw my creativity on the back burner, and usually I feel like there's something missing. I don't feel whole unless I'm being artistic. Fear plays a part in this too. I never chose to really pursue art because of the fear that I'm not good enough, not creative enough, don't deserve it enough, etc.

A few weeks ago at church my great friend Sean gave a quick little message before communion that spoke to me in a really big way. He talked about asking God for your heart's absolute deepest desires, and not just the bare minimum. I knew exactly what he meant when he explained that he would only really pray for what he needed, and not necessarily what he truly wanted. I've been thinking about his talk daily ever since. I do deserve to do what I want in life. I have this God-given talent and I know I'm supposed to use it, what a shame to waste it! I think this year is about big life-changing things for me. I do want to finish school when my back is better, but ultimately, I have decided that I'm going to really pursue an art career. I can't think of a better life! I've never wanted to be a housewife or a stay at home mom, BUT being able to work from home, doing what I love would be a dream come true. So, my point is getting a little lost here, but what I'm trying to say is that I believe that God is in control, and that some good will come from these painful years. The good being a Melissa who is doing exactly what she's meant to do. Now that I've realized all these things, suddenly surgery has been approved. Coincidence? I think not.

I've been out of work and at home so long now that I sort of became "comfortable" (for lack of a better word) and began to wonder if I really needed surgery. I decided to start pushing myself a little since the new year. Trying to be as healthy as possible I've been doing things to be more active and since I started the pain has increased, and that's sure a reminder that surgery is a must. Anytime I start doing anything more than the most basic stuff I'm reminded just how bad my back is. It's time. I'm scared, but I will get through this. The timing is right. I have to get back to school by next year or I could be kicked out of the school and if I have the surgery within the next few months I should be able to go part time for the fall semester. I want to plan a wedding and get on with my life. It just makes sense right now. I can only continue to pray that I can deal with the fear and feel at peace. Here's hoping I'll get ANY sleep until the big day. It's not scheduled just yet, there's a lot of planning to do, but I'll let you know as soon as I do!

Dear Santa Ana Winds,

2009-01-29T13:46:00.000-08:00

GO AWAY! I HATE YOU!

I hate the way you make me sneeze. I hate the way you mess up my hair and make it all static-y and crazy. I hate the way you dry out my skin and make my eyes all itchy. I hate the way you blow dirt into my house and my bedroom. I hate what you do to my clean car. I hate the way your incessant howling keeps me awake at night, and again when I'm trying to nap from not sleeping a wink. I. HATE. YOU.

Wet Paint

2009-01-24T11:03:00.000-08:00

I admit it, I've gone completely blog happy. I can't stop. I don't want to stop. I've created a third blog!

When I started this blog, I did it as a way to keep friends and family updated on my upcoming back surgery/pain circumstances. Since nothing has really happened on that front in some time, I feel that this blog took on a life of its own and has evolved. It's really become a way to share my latest works of art and photography, above all else. I would love to keep this up so I've decided to create a new blog under my actual name for my art. Painting for a living is really a dream I've had since I was just a little kid and I'm starting to realize that it's entirely possible and I just might have what it takes if I really start to work at it. So, I want to start making a name for myself in the art world, little by little. To do that, I need my NAME to be out there, so the new art blog is this:

www.MelissaMunding.blogspot.com

I've been talking a lot about resolutions lately and painting more often is one of my big ones. So I've decided to challenge myself to do some kind of art daily. Small paintings that can be finished in one sitting and photography will be it mainly, but I would like to draw more as well. I LOVE blogging about my art. When I finish a new piece I can't wait to photograph that sucker and post it here for all to see. I actually really like criticism of my paintings as well...as weird as that may sound. I got used to having my pieces picked apart in art classes, always in good spirits, and it helped me to improve my skill. I'm always striving to refine what I already know. I'm really looking forward to what I'll learn next with quick daily works, instead of only finishing a few pieces a year. I want to really immerse myself in it. Chances are that from now on you will see me covered in paint quite often. I'm messy. Somehow I've had orange toes for the past few days. I'm still not sure how!

Since I have the art blog and the weight loss blog, Brave New Mel, I'm not entirely sure what will become of this one. I might divvy up my personal life enough between the other two and kiss this one goodbye. Stay tuned I guess! I may take a hiatus from this one just to see if I need to keep it going or not. Bear with me.

Please follow me over to my other two blogs and join me in my journey to becoming the person I've always wanted to be. A happy, healthy, confident artist. Your encouragement means the world to me.

Wet Paint: The Daily Artworks of Melissa Munding

Brave New Mel

Two New

2009-01-21T23:05:00.000-08:00

I'm making good on my new year's resolutions...BOTH of them! I've lost 5 pounds and I've been painting! I finally finished up this little guy, who I've been neglecting for some time, but he's finally finished and officially for sale in my shop. For not being much of an outdoorsy person, I sure have been painting a whole lot of nature! I guess the older I get, the more deeply in love I fall with Mother Earth. Birds have been catching my attention lately, with all of their many colors and patterns. Here's my first bird.

"Blue Tit"

oil on gallery edged canvas

16 x 20 inches

I started today in a whole hell of a lot of pain. I slept half the day away after lying awake all night long cursing my back. After some great napping and several Advil, I got to work and painted this painting. I also started another one (but I'll get to that one later). So, here she is!

"Queen Anne's Lace"

oil on gallery edged canvas

14 x 14 inches

I'm vowing to paint more this year than ever before. Pain or no pain, I need to paint. I've rediscovered just how badly I want to do this for a living and after selling a number of paintings last year, I want to do all that I can to make it a reality! I'm crazy, but I don't care. I'm going to start doing a series of quick one-day paintings to get me going. I'll share when I have some more!

Happy Birthday Miss Laura!

2009-01-19T00:51:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I went down to the Santa Monica Pier for my cousin's daughter's 7th birthday party. I spent the day behind the camera, watching these adorable little ones running around in glee. I adore these kids!!!

Miss Laura, the Birthday Girl

Daniel and Jenna. Laura's little siblings.

Besties! Aren't they just so cute!

She even chose the number 7 on all her rides. Kids are too funny!

Moms get to have fun too. The cute little blonde on the left is my super awesome cousin, Tina.

Looks fun, no?

I really love Ferris Wheels!

Daniel is THE most lovable kid on the face of the earth.

I want to keep him for myself!

The Birthday Girl looking mighty royal in her pretty crown...which she made herself.

The cutest little girl EVER! She's so sweet.

Bumper car fun, even for the little guy!

The big moment.

I'm guessing that cake was pretty yummy!

Gotta love this face! She shot me and told me that her silver bow was her sheriff's badge. I guess that makes me the bad guy.

It was really a gorgeous day to be at the beach. Try, if you will, to ignore that nice brown strip of smog on the horizon, that's what we do ; )

Another long day that totally wore me out, but was totally worth it. I wish I saw those kids more often, but I'm not sure I have the energy for it!!!

San Diego Zoo

2009-01-16T22:10:00.000-08:00

It's picture time again! Branden and I spent an awesome day putting our San Diego Zoological Society Memberships to REALLY good use yesterday. I took a ridiculous amount of photos, but I've managed to narrow it down to a select few to share with you. I LOVE my camera! I'm so excited that I've gotten out to practice with it so much lately.

Pandas! My favorite animal when I was a kid. This is Gao Gao, the Daddy Panda. Aren't they AMAZING!!!?!?!

Bai Yun, the Momma Panda, working on a huge piece of bamboo. Pandas eat up to 40 pounds of bamboo a day! They spend the rest of their time sleeping so their inefficient digestive systems can work to break down all of that fiber.

River Hippo. I never realized JUST how big these guys are!

I want to pet him.

Please don't go extinct Mr. Polar Bear. I want my kids to be able to see you one day! Makes me want a frosty cold Diet Coke. . .is that weird?

Nature really astounds me sometimes.

Branden looking all photographer-like.

Another childhood favorite of mine.

I just want to cuddle up with this little koala!

I chased this peacock around for a looooooooong time. It was SO worth it when I finally got these two shots! I'm getting kind of awesome at this whole photography thing.

Mr. Peacock, looking very noble.

Very focused! Every time I looked up Branden was taking MY picture. Um, you see me every day, focus on the animals will ya!?! This pic I actually really liked though.

The fattest koi fish I've ever seen. They're so beautiful!

Blue-Crowned Pigeon. I wish all pigeons looked like this! The afternoon light was coming through the leaves of the aviary foliage in the most amazing colors! I'm still in awe! I didn't do any editing to get those colors, it really just looked like that.

More pretty birds.

Quite possibly my favorite shot of the day. I LOVE flamingos!

Peek a BOO!

Clyde the Orangutan. These animals are incredible. They have so much soul in their eyes, I feel like we could sit and have an entire conversation without uttering a word.

Oh man I love the zoo! I hope we get to go often this year with our passes. Buying a membership is SO cheap in comparison to a one day visit. It's so worth it, I highly recommend it! Plus, parking is free there...sweet!!! I can't wait to go back and see what my new friends are up to next time. Let me know if you ever want to join me!

I spent today relaxing my oh so sore muscles from spending way too long at the zoo, but we really had a great day. I think all of my hard work exercising last week made a huge difference for me! I hope it keeps up! I deserved my much needed break today. Branden and I spent the day on the couch, relaxing in a nice, quiet house. This week has been great.

Vote for Me!

2009-01-14T12:28:00.000-08:00

Hey friends! I entered a fun little contest on this blog and I need your vote! The person with the best little tidbit of money saving advice for planning a wedding wins a custom wedding monogram/logo. How cool is that!?! I totally want one, and what a neat thing to win! I'm super poor and will take all the free wedding stuff I can get! To cast a vote for me just go to Motif Designs and on the upper right hand side you will see a section to vote. Choose MEL and cast that baby in my direction! Pretty please? With sugar on top!!! There are three days left to vote, so come on and help a girl out!

No Going Back

2009-01-08T01:46:00.000-08:00

So remember that super long post where I described my goals for the year, mainly to lose some serious poundage? Well it felt so great to just lay it all out there for everyone to read that I decided to start a separate blog to document my journey to a healthier new me. I still can't quite believe that I'm going into such specifics for public viewing, but I think it will be really great for me to have a specific place to write about the experience, the struggles, the breakthroughs and so much more. Plus, blogging is SOOOO much for fun for me than keeping a boring food journal or something like that. I look forward to the accountability I'll have! So, my friends, add my new blog to your list and be my cheerleaders, my shoulders to cry on, my confidants, my FRIENDS!!!

Brave New Mel

Fullerton Arboretum - Part Deux

2009-01-07T02:42:00.000-08:00

Last Monday Branden and I decided it was about time to venture back to the Fullerton Arboretum. We enjoyed our first time there a couple of months ago, but it was really still too hot and we both quickly became cranky and didn't get to spend nearly as much time there as we would have liked. Plus, neither of us had studied up at all on how to use more of the settings on our digital SLR cameras like we had planned.

This time around we were far more prepared to go out and take some really great photos. I spent the weekend reading my camera's manual and reading article after article on the fantastic Digital Photography School blog. I highly recommend this site to anyone wanting to learn more about their camera and how to use it like a pro. They even have really great weekly assignments to keep you challenged. I've decided I'm going to start making it a point to take a shot (at least) for each assignment that comes up from now on. Branden is on the bandwagon too, anyone else care to join?

Anyway, this week I learned quite a lot about my camera and photography in general. I finally have a pretty thorough understanding of all that photog lingo like "shutter speed" and "aperture" and "ISO" and my new pictures are PROOF that I'm starting to know what I'm doing with this incredible piece of equipment. I'm so excited to show off these photos! Not one single pic was taken in the Auto setting, instead I spent the day learning how to use the proper aperture and shutter speed to get the best exposure possible. Of course I still have a ton to learn, but I'm proud of how far I've gotten so far, just by reading and teaching myself. Here they are!

A prickly little bugger, native to the Mojave Desert

In this shot I used a very low f number (large aperture) and a super fast shutter speed to focus only on the spikes in the very front and everything else blurred just perfectly.

Another desert dweller

It's almost like a funky little Christmas ornament left over from Mother Earth's celebration

Before you know it I'll be working for National Geographic. Branden and I totally found bugs getting it on! Pretty gross, but we stood and watched for a ridiculously long time in disbelief that we were actually witnessing such a thing. Later my mom asked me why I was shooting "bug porn." Okay mom.

This could be my favorite shot of the day. One last little leaf holds on for dear life now that winter has arrived.

These colors are just yummy!

Another spiny cactus.

A reminder that spring is just around the corner.

More amazing colors, this time contrasting.

Twig and berries.

Don't be gross!

Can you believe Southern California can actually look like this?

Seasons do still exist!

Brand new daffodils.

Gorgeous. I about broke my back getting close enough to the ground to take this one, but it was worth it!

A gorgeous Sweet Gum Tree. Native to Australia, if I remember correctly.

It totally reminds me of that Mulberry Tree painting by Van Gogh.

Paradise.

A couple of fresh little flowers.

I love days that are this blue. I haven't edited this at all and the color is just incredible. I've never been a big outdoorsy type of person, but capturing these colors makes me want to do it more often!

I was really amazed at how different the Arboretum looked now that we're in January. It really felt like fall/winter with the barren trees and the ground covered in multicolored leaves. It was so neat to see the changes that the rest of the country gets to see everywhere. I love the fall and winter seasons, even if I have to go to a place like this to be able to enjoy them. Now that it's colder, there was nobody at the place. It's so gorgeous and quiet and perfect to go hang out and read a book or go for a walk. I love it!

Fessing up: The first step to recovery.

2009-01-04T22:04:00.000-08:00

(This is gonna be a looooong one! Just a warning!)

Here we are again. The holidays have quickly come and gone and many of us are left with little money left in the bank and a few inches added to the waistline. Okay, okay, so the "fat jeans" aren't just bearing their ugly face because of the holidays. I start every year thinking that this is going to be THE year to finally get into better shape. This year is no different, only this time I have a much larger battle to fight.

As much as I hate to admit it or talk about it or even think about it, I have gained weight since I've hurt my back. I can't be absolutely sure how many pounds I've packed on since I stopped doing anything physical, but I can tell you it's at least 25 pounds, over the last two years. That might not be so bad for some people, but I wasn't exactly fit to begin with. I have two wardrobes now, a pre-injury one that's all folded and out of sight which consists of many different sizes from all my years of fluctuations in my weight, and then there's what's currently in my closet, all the clothes I've bought over the last two years because none of my other clothes fit. My pants are now a size 18, and that notion really bothers me. I can't believe I just wrote that!!! My friend, Becky, has inspired me to just lay it all out there. Well, perhaps not ALL out there, but I'm taking a big leap here! While I won't tell you that god-awful number on the scale (I can barely manage to read it myself), I'll say this: I need to lose about 80 pounds to be within the ideal weight range for my age and height. That's a lofty goal to say the least, but it's something that I want, not because I care about being "skinny" because I really don't, but because that's what is considered healthy. I want to be healthy. I want to take good care of my body and have the energy to do all the things in life that I want to do. I love my life. I love who I am and what I stand for. I want my outside to finally match my inside. Especially on those occasions where I get a comment like this: "You're such a beautiful girl, it's really a shame that you're overweight." Yes, somebody actually said that to me once. Ouch. My ego is scarred forever with that one.

I've struggled with my weight all my life. I've been a chubby kid since I was eight years old! Despite my efforts to hit the gym consistently and eat right, I always seem to fall off the wagon. My challenge has become even more difficult now that I'm EXTREMELY limited physically due to my lower back injury. I can't just decide to go for a run or lift some weights to start burning those calories. While I do eat foods that are pretty healthy, especially since I stopped eating wheat and most gluten, I need to really exercise some will power and cut down on portion sizes and make better choices. The reality is that I cook a lot, always with very fresh ingredients, I rarely eat fast food or highly processed foods, but I eat too much. That's my downfall. I LOVE food. I've had bad eating habits since I was young (thanks mom, for including me in your pig-out sessions as a kid), and although many things have changed over the years, the one thing that stays the same is that I simply eat too much. I can't blame it on being big-boned, my wrists are pretty tiny! Genes play a part for sure, I have many family members on both my parents' sides who are also overweight. Pain has kept me from being consistent for more years than I care to remember. BUT, when it comes down to it, I take responsibility for myself. I have the power to make some changes, regardless of all of those uncontrollable circumstances.

So, this is THE year. I'm going public and announcing it! Generally I'm a pretty private person, especially about things like this, but this time it's different. This time I'm engaged and I absolutely REFUSE to put on a wedding dress at the heaviest I've ever been. It may be a total cliche, but I don't care, it's my reality. That certainly isn't the dream I have for my wedding day. That's a pretty great motivation, but it isn't my only one. The other thing is this: losing weight can only help my bad back. The injury isn't because of the extra pounds, there are plenty of skinny people in my same situation, but the extra weight is certainly not helping me out at all. If you think about it, if a person is already in pain and then they carry around something that weighs 80 pounds ALL THE TIME, that's rough! Losing weight will only make recovery from surgery better and faster. The healthier I can be through all of these difficult times, the better! I've always been the kind of person who gets sick all the time, more than most, and often worse, and I would love to stop that too. This is a goal that I've never actually met. I've lost many battles, but I'm ready to win the war. There is so much at stake!

I feel lucky to have people in my life who love me unconditionally, just as I am. Branden would love me even if I never make any changes, that's good to know, but this is about ME being happy with me. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy with who I am, but one day we want to have some kids and this is not the example I want to set for them. God gave me this one body, this one temple, to take care of and last me a lifetime. So far I haven't taken such good care of me, but I welcome change. I know it will be a lot of work, but I'm home all the time! I have unlimited free time to cook even healthier, and to give my health the needed focus I deserve. I'm not about crash diets and crazy miracle pills or anything like that. I'm not about starving myself or depriving myself. I think it's really all about making better choices and finding a balance. If you see me eating a cookie, don't berate me for making a bad choice, but instead realize that I'm not eating the whole batch! Balance is key.

This whole thing is a little difficult to wrap my head around in my inanimate situation, but I'm working on a little plan. The plan is to simplify, really. Add more veggies. Eat smaller portions. Don't eat when not hungry (this is not something that comes naturally to me, like it should, it takes focus and will power).

As far as exercise goes, there are some little things I can do to raise my heart rate enough to help get into better cardiovascular shape and burn some calories. I can walk as long as I don't overdo it. Fifteen minutes or so and I'm done. But if I can do that everyday, I'll already be better off than I am now. The other thing that one doctor suggested is to get in a swimming pool and walk around. I can't really do full on swimming because the extension of the arms really hurts me, but I can get in and walk around a whole bunch. It's as low impact as possible, which is ideal.

I'm not going to make any unrealistic goals, that will only frustrate me and leave me upset and depressed. I have to do this in baby steps. I'd love to lose that entire 80 pounds, but it's going to be a loooooong process. I don't need to be a size 2 by my wedding, that's just ridiculous, I just want to be a couple of sizes smaller. I would prefer not to be a plus size for once in my adult life.

So goal #1 is this: lose one jean size by my birthday. My birthday is on March 24th. That gives me ample time to lose enough weight at a healthy and realistic pace to be back in my old size 16 jeans. At this point, my first goal is to get back into my normal clothes (not these larger sizes that I'm embarrassed to have bought).

Baby steps. I can do that. Wanna help? Let's go for a walk! Ask me how it's going. Keep me accountable. Allow me to vent. I'm not going to be perfect, but I'm hoping that by putting this out there in the open, I will be faster to get back up when I fall flat on my face.

I think that's all that I can brave on this topic, but I'm not quite done yet. First, some pictures at the beach. Ugh! What's gotten into me!?! I blame Becky.

******************************************

I have another resolution for 2009. Aside from losing weight, there's another thing that I (secretly) hope to do every year. I resolve to paint more! It's another thing that is difficult to do with my stupid hurting back, but the little bit of painting that I managed to get done in 2008 was seriously successful. I sold a total of four paintings since opening my Etsy shop!!! If I really could paint for a living, that is still my ultimate goal in life. Of course I want to finish school when my back is better, but even with a degree, I would love to just paint. How amazing would it be to be a professional artist and have the flexibility to work from home when I decide to have kids!?! I can't think of a better life. Selling those pieces of artwork has given me the motivation and confidence in my abilities to give it a real go at it. Of course, to really be a success in this area, I need to paint. All. The. Time. Just paint. Being a professional artist has been a dream since I was a kid and I'm starting to see that it could really be possible!

Opening my Etsy shop has been one of the best things I've ever done. I had missed using my creativity in productive ways! I even met my goals for the year! When I opened up shop over the summer, I made it a goal to have 50 sales (in my shop) by the end of the year. Guess what? I ended the year with 50 exactly! The very last one was a custom wholesale order for 20 bangles! How's that for accomplishment! I'm hoping to continue to make new goals and create new pieces of jewelry, but I want to REALLY focus on my art before anything else. I think this is really what I'm meant to do. What if...WHAT IF the reason I've been stuck at home so long, left to my own devices, is that I'm meant to be painting and learning how to run a business as an independent artist? I truly believe that everything happens for a reason, good things and bad things alike. I try to look for the underlying good in a bad situation, and more and more I'm starting to believe in myself as an artist. I'm trying to keep viewing my 'situation' as an opportunity and not just a curse. I don't wish this pain on anyone in the world, but perhaps it's a super difficult thing that will end up leading me in a direction I may have ignored if I were still too busy with all that other life stuff. It's just a theory, I may never know the answers, but I'm still dead set on doing my best to use this free time wisely.

Okay my friends, now that I've bared my soul for a good hour or so tonight, I'll leave you alone. I promise you all, future posts on this subject will be much shorter! Goodnight internet.

Looking Back: 2008 In a Nutshell

2009-01-02T00:21:00.000-08:00

New Year's is always a very reflective time for me. I can't help but to take a look back and sum up the entire year we've just wrapped up. What happened worth remembering? What happened that I'd rather not remember? I definitely have some of each. 2008 was quite an interesting year, that's for sure. Here are some of my highs and lows of 2008.

Low Points:

*Continuing daily physical pain that affects my every move.

*My long drawn out worker's comp case continues and is still proving to be fruitless.

*Some emotional pain due to some difficult family problems.

*I had to put school on hold until my back injury situation improves.

*I stopped receiving any benefit payments from my work comp insurance. Basically, this means I am living entirely on borrowed money. Every day I fall deeper and deeper into debt (not somewhere I want to be right now) and it's getting scary.

High Points:

*Branden moved in with us and has really been my rock through the tough times, not to mention all of his help with stupid everyday things that I can't do because of the pain.

*I hired a lawyer to help with my work comp case. Now at least I have somebody who's straight with me.

*I opened up my Etsy shop! This could be one of the best things I've ever done. It's keeping me sane and motivated to have something productive I can do from home.

*I've sold FOUR paintings since opening my shop!!! I'm beginning to think that making some kind of a living from my artwork actually is possible after all. It's quite inspiring to know that there are people all over the country that really love what I do and are willing to pay good money for it! This is something I want to continue to explore further in 2009.

*I've made some amazing new friends through Etsy and the craft shows I've done.

*Even though I had some seriously dramatic things happen with the family, we love each other and have been able to work through even the toughest times consistently. I am thankful that I have a family that is there for me when I really need them. And I'm happy to be able to give my brothers the love and attention they need while our mom works extra hours to help support all of us.

*I discovered I was allergic to wheat. This might sound like a bad thing, but finally figuring it out means that I can avoid those foods and be a MUCH happier person.

*My beautiful friend, Amanda, got married and I was honored to be a bridesmaid.

*Branden and I got engaged! This is definitely the highlight of my entire year. Way to end it with a BANG!

Those are the major highs and lows, although there was plenty more in between. As I give closure to 2008 I'm excited to look forward and make plans and resolutions for this new year. I have a feeling this will be a big one, full of many more highs and lows. From possible back surgery to planning a wedding, it will be one to remember. I have a few goals in mind to start the year off right. I'll fill you in on it in my next post!

Happy New Year, Internet!

Under the Mulberry Tree

2008-12-29T15:02:00.000-08:00

I hope everyone had a fantastic Christmas! Mine was nice, very quiet and relaxing this year, as it was just my mom, grandma, Branden and myself. We did some major cooking, some major eating and that's about it. Not bad.

The thing that's really worth talking about happened the day after Christmas. It was a happy Boxing Day indeed!

Branden and I love to go to museums whenever we get the chance and since Bran had the day off on Friday we went to our favorite, The Norton Simon Museum of Art. We frequent this museum because it's nice and small, so you can easily see the whole thing in one day, plus it's home to my favorite painting and they often have really interesting exhibits. The current draw is a rare Vermeer painting on loan from the East Coast, so Branden talked me into spending his day off in Pasadena (not that I'm hard to convince).

We slept in, had a great, relaxing morning, and went on our way. I've never seen the museum so crowded! There were people everywhere, it was insane! We went to see the newest exhibits first and eventually made our way around to the permanent collection. Our last stop, as always, was in front of my favorite painting, The Mulberry Tree by Vincent Van Gogh.

Van Gogh's The Mulberry Tree

Only this time, it became more special than ever. As I was lost in the luscious swirls of paint, Branden called my name to get my attention and I turned to find him on one knee! He proposed, right there, in front of tons of people, in one of my favorite places in the whole world!!!!!!! Of course I said YESSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so excited! We're engaged! Can you believe it!!! I think I laughed and cried all at the same time. All I could do was hug him and kiss him, I was suddenly unaware of my surroundings (which is rare), so we went outside in the lovely garden so I could jump up and down without disturbing the museum patrons. How fun!

See: SO excited!

The Ring:

It's amazing and unique and handmade and FABULOUS!!!!

It's absolutely PERFECT in every way.

One more, for good measure!

Hehehehehehe!!! He hee! I'm still kinda giddy. We celebrated with some delicious sushi that night and a movie. It's been killing me not to post this immediately but I figured it would be better to tell family before posting it all over the internet. I'm gettin' married! I feel so grown up!

I'm It!

2008-12-20T01:55:00.000-08:00

Looks like I have been tagged by Rose! :D

Link to your tagger and list these rules on your blog.
Share 6 facts about yourself on your blog; some random, some weird.
Tag 6 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as their links to their blogs.
Let them know they have been "tagged" by leaving a comment on their blog.

1. I secretly hope that one day more animals will be miniaturized so that I can have a mini pet elephant. I love them. I can't help it! How cute would it be to walk my pet elephant down the street and give him peanuts when we return!?! "I want it NOW Daddy!" (Sorry, Willy Wonka was on last night and Veruca Salt's annoying demands are still ringing in my head).

2. I can juggle! The skills are a bit rusty, but what I learned one summer at camp has never left me entirely. It kept me busy some slow nights working at a supermarket. Oranges and apples are perfect for juggling!

3. I love Love LOVE showtunes. I know. HUGE nerd. Again, I can't help it! I know every single word to RENT, Chicago, Cabaret, Sweeney Todd, and soooo many others. It's an unhealthy obsession, but I manage to conceal it most of the time ; )

4. I can't wait to marry my lovely boyfriend. We have big dreams of a happy future. I'm expecting a special question sometime soon...if you catch my drift *wink!!*

5. Many nights I fight sleep for no reason whatsoever. I think it has something to do with an artistic mind, I'm never willing to shut it off. I'm basically always tired.

6. Branden and I get a kick out of watching REALLY awful TV. A couple of examples? Sure!

*QVC - The best part is when the seriously old people call in to talk about nothing

*Virtual Memory - A Bible game show on TBN. We're pretty sure the host is gay...ironic, no? I'm not judging, but the kid's a total spaz and it's hilarious.

*My Big Redneck Wedding - It's so bad it's gone way past bad and back to good again.

*The Pick Up Artist on VH1

I now duly tag:
1. Steppie

2. Amanda - Ajax

3. Becky - Adventures in Mommyhood

4. Derya - Daily Dream Daily Doodle

5. Ashley

ONLY 8!

2008-12-17T13:29:00.000-08:00

A few weeks after starting my little Etsy business, I decided to set some goals. My main goal was to reach 50 sales in my shop by the end of the year. A part of me thought I'd never make it, but now, I sit here with a total of 42 sales! I'm only 8 sales away from my goal! It's crunch time! There are only 3 more days of shopping in order to receive packages in time for Christmas (with my free Priority shipping), so I'm working like a mad woman to reach my little goal. I'm so excited that I've gotten this far!

All I Want For Christmas...REVISED!

2008-12-12T15:41:00.001-08:00

Dear Santa,

I know I'm a grown up. I know the kids are the ones who usually get all the presents. The joy on their little faces is priceless when opening up all those beautiful gifts, but I've been a VERY good girl this year and there are a couple of things I'd like too, so please, don't forget about me!

Christmas for my family this year, like many many other families, will not be as fanciful and full of gifts as usual. My mom is always worried about how to make ends meet. I just had my benefits cut off from worker's comp, so I'm currently not receiving any sort of paycheck whatsoever. That only makes matters more difficult for my family as none of them have the money to help me out. So I'm currently going deeper into debt. It makes me sad, but there's really nothing I can do about it until my surgery case is all figured out. So, Santa, you're my man!

I don't want much, but there are a few things I'm really craving!

1. Adobe Photoshop Elements 6 for my mac

I'm still in love with selling my handmade jewelry and art in my Etsy shop and photoshop would give me a great advantage to make the most of my photos (essential for selling online)!

This version, ELEMENTS, is only $89.99!

(The full photoshop program is several hundreds of dollars,

so that's a bit much and more than I need anyway).

2. A Postal Scale.

There's a little money in my business account for such things so I may end up buying one of these for myself, but I thought I'd throw it on here just in case. I can't even fathom how many trips to the post office I will save if I get a scale. The gas money it takes to get to the post office alone will pay for it. I believe they range from $20 & up. This probably sounds like such an odd item for most people, but for me, it would be an amazing gift!

3. A Sigma 150mm F2.8 lens

For my Nikon D80 Digital SLR camera.

Okay, so I realize this is a crazy expensive lens and one that I will probably be coveting for most of my life, but I would love to have one of these bad boys! I have a special love for macro photography and this would allow me to learn it for myself. Although I doubt I'll ever be able to spend $900 on a camera lens. Maybe, just maybe, your elves can make me one...huh Santa? The detail I could capture with this piece of equipment would be amazing for my painting! I would love a great telephoto lens before I get to travel again, but for now, I'd get a lot more use out of this one.

4. Slippers! size 9 ****CHECK!!!!

I had a REALLY bad day yesterday and I awoke to an early Christmas present from my man. My slippers!!! Yay, my feet are all warm and cozy now. Thank you baby!

I think that's it really. I don't have a true need for anything. These are just a couple of little things that would help with my business. Of course that one is a bit extravagant, but the others aren't at all. I would get a great deal of use out of them and they'd certainly make my life easier!

Thanks Santa!

Melissa

p.s. If you bring me something nice, I'll bake you the best cookies EVER!!!

Let's Play WHAT HAPPENED TO ZACH?

2008-12-07T23:03:00.000-08:00

Take a little look at these lovely photos of my little brother, Zach. Any guesses?

Was he hit by a car? NO. Did he fall out of a tree? NO. Did he jump off the roof? Likely, but NO. Did we have yet ANOTHER skateboard related injury in my family? YES, two actually!!! If you look closely, you can see a pretty distinct black eye. This was given to him by his brother, Jake, who threw a skateboard at his HEAD. This, less than one year after Jake threw our phone at Zach's head, possibly costing him a tooth...the verdict is still out on whether or not that tooth will eventually fall out and need an implant. The goal is to keep it in there until he's old enough to have an implant (18), only 5 more years to go. At this rate he'll probably be braindead by then! Or simply not living at all.

So, we've covered the black eye. The rest is a separate incident. Zach was skateboarding home from a neighborhood friend's house when the board slipped from under him and he landed on his feet and ran after the still moving board to jump back on. So the skateboard is still moving at full speed. So is the kid. Things didn't work out so well this time. The next time I saw him was running in the house holding onto his arm for dear life while what used to be a perfectly normal wrist dangled about all mangled and lifeless. He was screaming and I still don't know how he actually made it home, but somehow he did. He pretty much collapsed on Bentley's dog bed on the floor and I held his wrist in place while we waited for the paramedics. Zach couldn't get up, he was totally freaking out. So, as I'm used to dealing with the injuries of adolescent boys in my house, I tried my hardest to calm him down, assured him that even though it REALLY hurts, he's going to be okay. The paramedics got there in no time and no less than SIX men in two trucks, one an ambulance and the other a fire truck, rushed in to work on him. You should have heard us trying to explain that the black eye was from a separate incident! They were SO sure he had hit his head, but noooooo the black eye was old news. That was last week's injury...well one of them, Jake was in the ER a week ago when he cracked his head open, again, and needed some staples...also due to skateboarding.

The whole thing was so insane! They pumped the kid full of morphine in my living room because he was totally diaphretic from the pain by the time they got there. I know that feeling all too well. Not wanting him to pass out they gave him the needed drugs, stabilized his wrist so I could let go, and wheeled him into the truck. The craziest part about the whole thing is that it's a common occurrence here! Jake has been in the emergency room several times this year but surprisingly enough, this is the first broken bone, besides mine of course. My own clumsy injuries are a whole other story! I'm not lucky enough to get hurt near home, I have to do it in foreign countries. I still have a score to settle with Spain!!! *shakes fist*

He's doing fine now, although he drove me insane all week! He's at that ripe age of 13 where the most fun thing to do in the whole world is annoy the crap out of his sister. Lucky me. Thankfully Jake is still my little buddy. I love picking him up from school because he always has a really great question waiting for me, like: "Sissa, how do boats float?" Or, "Do you think anybody's ever swallowed a grenade?" It's my favorite! But Zach is doing great. The final verdict was a broken radius bone, right near the wrist/joint. Tomorrow he'll have a cast put on for six weeks and he'll need another six weeks of full rest. Looks like he won't be playing baseball this season! But he's quite the celebrity now, so he'll live. I'll have to come back with some pics of his cast once all the little 13 year old girls show their love all over it.

Welcome to my accident prone family. It's a wonder I didn't injure myself typing this.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

2008-11-28T14:05:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving this year was interesting. We usually have tons of people over to our house for the holiday, year after year, but this year my mom decided to take my little brothers and visit my other brother in Arizona. Branden and I were supposed to go to Big Bear to spend Thanksgiving with his parents (something we have never done before). But then, Wednesday night, it was snowing up in the mountains. Without chains, or the funds to go purchase chains, we were worried about driving in the snow. Not to mention the fact that both of us came down with a cold that night. It figures, I've been sick on Thanksgiving many many times before, it's almost a given! So we decided to just stay home and have Thanksgiving alone. Just the two of us. A nice, quiet, calm, stress free house was ours for the taking and we certainly took advantage of it! I went to the grocery store once we decided to stay home and bought a few holiday essentials since our plans changed so suddenly. We were on our own for delicious food and totally happy about it! I loved the day, I loved spending time with Branden, just relaxing and cooking and having a really fantastic dinner together. Of course I've documented the occasion with pictures : )

Our first Thanksgiving alone together.

We made the most of our lovely, relaxing day of quiet and quality time.

My mom's famous Au Gratin Potatoes, which I attempted to make with Lactose Free milk and they came out a little runny so we'll probably just eat them as leftovers once they thicken up a bit. Oh well. Live and learn. I guess I can't have my dairy and eat it too.

As much as I would have loved to have cooked my yams from scratch, I was sick and decided to make it easy on myself.

Before.

He's the perfect soux chef!!!

Seriously, I'm one lucky lady!

After!!!! Yum! I live for yams like this on Thanksgiving!

Nice and toasty on the outside and gooey and delicious on the inside.

Roasted Garlic for my Vinaigrette. Few things make your whole house smell as amazingly mouthwatering as roasted garlic. Cooking it this way turns it into something kind of sweet and I love using this in recipes, especially pizzas and mashed potatoes.

Gluten-Free Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Squares!

My favorite recipe adjusted so I can actually eat it and you couldn't even tell the difference!!! I can't begin to tell you how thrilled I am about this dish. This is the first time I've converted one of my old recipes to be without wheat and it's surely still one of my all time favorites. My family won't know the difference when I make THEIR fave recipe at Christmas!!!

Seriously! SO GOOD.

They were a bit crumbly without the gluten but as long as they were that moist and delicious, I didn't really care.

My lovely pork loin roast fresh from the oven.

I'm the chef!

I'd take this over turkey any day!

Ah yes. The best part.

My fancy shmancy pork loin with roasted garlic vinaigrette!

This was the first time I tried this recipe and it was perfect and fantastic and I will make this sauce again and again for chicken and pork. It was fabulous! Thanks to Giada de Laurentis for this recipe! It's really easy and SO worth it. Since Branden and I weren't planning on being home we decided to find a recipe for our Thanksgiving dinner that would utilize what we happened to have at home. A pork roast. Garlic. Parsley from my garden. Balsamic vinegar. Olive oil (a major staple in my house). Salt. Pepper. Sugar.

Piece of freakin' cake! If you're not into cooking an entire roast (I'm often ambitious in the kitchen) I would totally recommend using this vinaigrette over some grilled pork chops. It's sure to impress!

I hope you all had a fabulous Thanksgiving! I can't begin to tell you about all the things I'm thankful for, that would be one LONG blog post!

Lions, Giraffes & Elephants! Oh my!

2008-11-26T11:48:00.000-08:00

For our second anniversary, Branden and I decided that we wanted to go away for the weekend and do something fun. We finally decided on San Diego and the Wild Animal Park. Our anniversary was in September, but we waited until November to go away, thinking we would miss the heat and have a nice cool day. Not only was it a nice, cool day, it was POURING rain all day long. Sunny San Diego. 75 degrees and sunny every day of the year. Except of course the ONE day we decide to spend there. We still had fun. Most of the rain poured on us during our Photo Caravan Safari tour where we got to hand feed giraffes! It's evident in the pictures with the wet Rhinos and a group of giraffes huddling under some shelter. We ended the tour sopping wet from head to toe, freezing! I was in so much pain by the end of the day, but when I look back at these fantastic pictures, I'm only remembering how much fun we had together. We bought a dual membership for only $79 which allows us unlimited access to the San Diego Zoo and the Wild Animal Park for an entire year! SO worth it! I can't wait to go back and work on my photography some more. Support the San Diego Zoological Society! Did you know that there are only SEVEN White Rhinos left in the world?!? They are doing there best to save such an incredible species but so far have had no luck. We will probably watch White Rhinos go extinct in our lifetime, but of course, I'm hoping for the best!

Have a look at the slide show!

We're at it again!

2008-11-23T20:44:00.000-08:00

Now that the holidays have officially arrived (we even had a cool day today!) we are putting on another home show! This time it's at my house and it's going to be even bigger and better! Most of the info is on the flyer, check it out, it's gorgeous, thanks to the ultra talented Steppie!

Want a sneak peak? Here are some links to all the fabulously talented ladies participating:

Poppy Raye Studio

Designs by Steppie

Namaste Designs

Melissa Loschy Designs

New Paintings!

2008-11-17T18:33:00.003-08:00

Things have been a bit slow in the 'ole jewelry shop lately. The crazy economic issues plaguing the country are making things quite difficult for my new little shop. However, since I opened my Etsy shop over the summer I've sold three paintings! Since I still have a shop full of jewelry, I've decided to slow down the creative process in that area until some more of my items find new homes and focus on painting a bit. Who knew it would be easier to sell original oil paintings than jewelry!?! I never would have guessed! It's becoming more and more obvious that I have a far better chance at success with my art than with my hobby. That's great news! I've always been a bit intimidated and scared of trying to sell artwork, but now that I've gotten used to the idea, and currently have paintings in many states across the US, I have a whole new confidence that I'm attempting to explore. Here are my newly finished paintings along with all some pertinent information. Most of these pieces aren't up in my shop yet because they are still wet. If any of you are interested in buying one, let me know and I will reserve it just for you until it's dry enough to ship!

Koi Fish

18 x 18 inches

oil on canvas

$500

Skull in Blue

12 x 16 inches

oil on canvas

$75

Blue Dandy

12 x 12 inches

oil on canvas

(gallery edge, no frame needed)

$115

Pink Dandy

12 x 12 inches

oil on canvas

(gallery edge, no frame needed)

$115

Lemon on Blue

10 x 10 inches

oil on canvas

(gallery edge, no frame needed)

$65

I'd love to hear your thoughts of the new paintings! Feel free to give me any sort of critique, I can take it!

I'm OK, You're OK

2008-11-16T19:25:00.000-08:00

For those of you who have heard of all the crazy fires blazing around my area, I'm just writing to let you know that we're doing just fine. Branden's work was evacuated yesterday with fires burning nearby, but he had the day off anyway, so no such excitement at home. My heart goes out to all of those who have not been so lucky as to avoid the damage and destruction. All who have lost their homes are definitely in my prayers.

The fires have never come quite so close to my house before, this is a crazy one! Last night my whole family drove out to the hillside we live on (which we could have easily walked to but wanted to avoid breathing in all the smoke and ash) to see the fires. We could actually see several different fires burning bright throughout the surrounding cities. The skyline had an eerie orange glow that unmatched anything I've seen. It was beautiful and frightening all at the same time.

As the fires continue to burn and ravage, be assured that we are staying safe!

Do I Dazzle You?

2008-11-15T16:48:00.000-08:00

Hey! After a loooooong day at another incredibly unsuccessful craft show, I came home to read a fabulous blog post about. . .ME!!! I was the featured artist today on an awesome blog called Capitola Girl. Every week the writer, Susan, chooses an artist feature for her weekly segment, Saturday Sparkle, and this week she chose me : )

Please be good friends and visit her site by clicking the link above, read the article, and leave a comment!!! It's so exciting!

Looking Forward

2008-11-04T23:58:00.000-08:00

What an amazing day in history this day is! For the first time ever, we have elected an African American President! I'm prouder than I've ever been to be an American! Looking back, it's incredible to see how far we have come to triumph over racism and prejudice. It's a true measure of progress to see Barack Obama win the election. I got out and voted first thing this morning, and full of anticipation and excitement I watched the numbers roll in throughout the day. I couldn't be happier with the outcome. For the first time in my own personal voting history, I feel hopeful that the future will bring the much needed change that has the potential to make this country a much greater place for our children. I hope you all got out and spoke up in your local voting booths. I feel that my voice was heard! Great day.

VOTE!

2008-10-29T14:09:00.000-07:00

Just VOTE!

I vote because I care about my future and the future of my unborn children.

I vote because I'm a college student and think education is extremely important.

I vote because I am one of the millions of Americans without healthcare.

I vote because I want to help save our planet.

I vote because I believe in equality.

I vote for a better future, a better economy, a better world!

Why do you vote?

You have a voice! You can be heard.

"The world ends not with a bang, but with a whimper." -T.S. Elliot

BE LOUD. GO VOTE.

They Like Me! They Really Like Me!

2008-10-29T11:46:00.000-07:00

A couple of days ago another item from my Etsy shop was featured on the front page! This is my third time on the FP and it's still just as exhilarating! To get an item on the front page is a difficult task, as somebody has to specifically choose your item to put into a Treasury (collection of one's favorite items)and then that Treasury has to be chosen among hundreds to be put on the front, or the item has to be hand-picked by somebody that works for Etsy. Either way is a fantastic compliment and really great exposure. Things are going well with my little business here, and I'm thrilled about it! Here's a screenshot of the front page when I was on it! My Golden Cranberry Earrings are on the top right!

Here's a closer shot of them. Perfect for fall!

3rd Annual Pumpkin Carving Party-2008!!!

2008-10-27T00:04:00.000-07:00

Carving pumpkins is my absolute favorite part of Halloween. Forget dressing up and going out, that stuff just isn't for me. The tradition I love is of course the one that is a bit crafty. For three years in a row now I have planned little casual pumpkin carving parties with my little brothers, boyfriend and our friend, Jess. I would have loved to invite more people this year, but it ended up being kind of last minute...sorry! Maybe next year : ) For now, I have lots and lots of photos from our super fun, super messy day! Enjoy.

First things first. The pumpkins, before.

Can't carve pumpkins without a D.C. in hand!!!

(Mmm, Diet Coke!)

The Bran Man in his Manpron.

Pumpkin Seeds

Branden, hard at work.

Jess, our favorite pumpkin carvin' buddy!

Meet Cameron, Jakes cute little friend!

I did stop taking photos long enough to actually carve at some point.

The whole gang elbow deep (minus me of course).

Zach, the kid who's way too cool to smile. . .but I got one!!!

Yep, I allowed photos to be taken of myself for once! I thought maybe my readers should have some idea what I look like!

Somehow the pumpkins always end up on their heads! Every year, I swear!

Jake's pumpkin tiara. . .how sweet. He even did a little parade wave.

What a little princess.

So, not exactly a princess!

The finished products! How great are these!?!

From left to right:

Melissa's Poppies, Branden's Tree, Jess' Rolling Pin & Cupcake

The little boys' pumpkins didn't make the photo cut. . .mainly because dirty things were being carved and the pumpkins were shredded to pieces by the time us serious carvers had finished.

Now, Close-Ups

We had a blast! Go carve some pumpkins people! Feel fee to upload some pics of your own creations! I'd really love to see them!

Wishful Thinking Bracelets

2008-10-24T15:31:00.000-07:00

It seems that the more time I spend browsing the wonderful supply shops of Etsy, the more inspired I become. Especially with the vintage pieces! At the moment I'm completely moved by the designs and splendor in vintage buttons. At the last Gem Faire that blew through my town, leaving my wallet empty and my supply boxes filled to the brim, I picked up some freshwater pearls in some really fantastic colors. I've just dying for just the right idea to come along to finally put them to good use. Then I found these FABULOUS vintage buttons. They're amazing and I'm in love with how well they go with the pearls! My first creations thus far are bracelets. I noticed that I didn't have many bracelets in my shop that weren't really chunky, so I wanted to go for something far more delicate and just PRETTY. So here they are, the first three! And I got such great deals on the pearls at the show that I was able to keep the prices pretty low. Only $22!!! Check out my shop! I definitely plan on making at least a few different designs, with different colors. I also intend to incorporate some of these awesome vintage finds in necklaces in the very near future. Stay tuned!

If you're wondering where the name for these bracelets come from, I was admiring the star shapes and designs in the focal pieces and just had the urge to make a wish. They're just so pretty and dazzling, I felt they might bring me some good luck!

The Fullerton Arboretum

2008-10-20T00:23:00.000-07:00

When I woke up today, I awoke to a nice, quiet house, which is QUITE the rarity around here. The silence quickly broke and all hell began to break loose. If you know me personally, and know my family, you will know what little pre-teen monsters my little brothers can be. The craziness actually began last night when our lovely little Jake kicked a hole in Zach's wall as retaliation to big brother in a fight. This is hole number FOUR! I don't know any other kids who are this destructive, there are no boundaries in this crazy house! So today my mom, with steam quickly escaping from her ears, was ready to impart her wrath. Knowing what was coming, Branden and I decided to get out of the house, immediately, before the blame was directed our way. A preemptive strike, a bit of cleaning, and we were outta here!

For some time now Branden and I have been wanting to go to the Fullerton Arboretum so today was a great day for that.

Chrysanthemum? I think so.

These were the most amazingly delicious shade of orange!

Duck. Duck. Goose??? I stood in one place amidst these pretty little ducks for so long they finally got used to me and let me get a little closer. I still don't know what they were all staring at!

I have no clue what these are called but they are so sweet!

The old Heritage House.

Awe, isn't he just so cute? I love this guy!

Another new friend of mine. This amazing monarch fluttered around us for such a long time. Every now and then she would land and stand still long enough for us to commemorate her beauty by capturing it on film (well, digital, but still).

A very unusual little flower.

Again, I don't know what this is, but I love the way the photo turned out!

Those are some of my favorites. We want to go back when it gets a little bit colder since we both turn into puddles of crankiness in the heat. Maybe there will even be some leaves changing in a month or two, I'd love to admire that while having a picnic. Doesn't that sound nice!

Bust.

2008-10-18T21:37:00.001-07:00

Today was my first craft fair at Villa Park High School. I did a home show a little while ago with some friends that went amazingly well and today I felt incredibly prepared and excited for something much bigger. Therein lies the problem. What I got today wasn't something much bigger. The crowd that showed up was ridiculously small, and only a few sales were made. I don't know if the promoting just wasn't done well or what but it was a bit of a disappointment. It was a total bust! Oh well, at least I didn't lose any money. To be fair, the people planning this event were very clear and fully enclosed the fact that it was a first year show and did not know what kind of attendance we would have. Better luck next time.

Well, one down, four to go! I'm just hoping the next four shows I have lined up will be much better than this one. I'm sure they will be, they've done them before and it will be closer to the holidays!

Thank YOU, Mother Earth!

2008-10-12T01:18:00.000-07:00

Finally, one whole day without intense heat was bestowed upon us here in Orange and I couldn't BE more thankful. The endless summer has proved to be quite the endurance test for me this year as I melt into a heap of crankiness in the prolonged heat. Yes, I know, it's called summer. Summer and I do not get along! The SUN and I are not friends. I appreciate that our only sun is the reason life can exist on this planet, but after all the burns I've endured, I prefer the cold shoulder. For some time I've been wishing and pleading and begging for some cooler weather and today my wish was finally granted. I wore long sleeves and took an extra hot shower. I left the screen door open as I worked on some jewelry and cuddled up with a cozy blanket. I didn't break a sweat once, and not even for a moment did I wish the a/c was on. I took a long (much needed) nap all warm in my cool bed and awoke to a crisp breeze which carried me through the day. It was blissful. I only hope tomorrow will be as full of promise that winter is near.

Ah, speaking of cold weather, this year I'm going to be spending Thanksgiving in Big Bear with Branden's family (my mom is going to visit my brother) and I can't wait for the biting cold of the mountain air! I'm already envisioning myself bundled up in cute scarves and my trusty pea coat, eating soup and listening to the crackling fire with my boy at my side. Now doesn't that sound nice!

On A Roll!

2008-10-09T00:23:00.000-07:00

I am a little bit addicted to Etsy, I have to admit. Yesterday was a fabulous day for my little shop because I was featured (which you can read about in my last post)! And today, well, today was great too. Etsy has this awesome feature called the Treasury. This feature allows any member of Etsy to create a grouping of cool Etsy items on one page. I have so much fun playing curator and putting so many amazing items on display together. I can't get enough! Yesterday, while basking in my Etsy fame and glory, I created a treasury of some of my favorite things. Today, my treasury was picked for the front page! Two days in a row I'm on the front page in some form or another! I'm ecstatic. I was especially proud of this hot little treasury so I decided to share it with you. Don't be surprised if you see some of these bad boys on my Christmas list!

I have arrived!

2008-10-07T23:53:00.001-07:00

I've been a bit sick lately. Last week I had a head cold, from which I'm still recovering, and this week it's the flu. Super. I expected to wake up today to nothing but pains in my tummy and an aching head. Instead of those things (which were far less painful today than yesterday), I woke up to a happy little email. A wonderful member of the Etsy staff, Anda, left me a sweet little message to let me know that my fabric bangles were featured in an article called "Etsy Finds: Bangles." This article is available on the Etsy website and was emailed to over 17,500 subscribers to the Etsy newsletter! What great exposure! Not ONLY was I featured in the article, but the pieces from the article also made it to the Front Page of Etsy, which is a very big deal. This is basically the best kind of exposure you can get here. It doesn't last long, but it's fantastic! Here is a screenshot of what the page looked like with my "Amanda Bangle."

This was a truly amazing way to start the day. It was just the pick-me-up I needed in the midst of being sick while trying to prepare for some craft shows, the first of which is less than two weeks away!

Thank you Anda!!!

My new favorite things! With a purpose.

2008-09-26T19:32:00.000-07:00

My productive goal for myself yesterday was to build a light box (tent) for product photography. Since I'm still recovering from an intense sunburn from last week's photo shoot (my legs are currently two totally different colors to prove it), I decided that I needed to bring the beautiful daylight inside. Get away from me SUN! So I did a little bit of minor research and found a great tutorial on how to make a light box.

Basically it's just a square cardboard box with windows cut out of the windows and white tissue paper taped over the windows. See the tutorial I used here for more info, this is exactly what it looks like. The next step was to find a light bulb that didn't make everything look icky and yellow, like the regular (Tungsten) light bulbs in my house. So I took a little trip to Home Depot and found just what I needed! Not only are they energy efficient, these bulbs emit a pure light, far more like daylight than any other I've found. Perfect. Now I have "natural" light without the risk of skin cancer! Here are some shots of my new light bulbs in my new light box. Seamless white background with nice lighting, although it could be a little bit brighter, I'll have to get another lamp going. This is totally what I need for my photography for my Etsy store. I've been really working to improve my photos in hopes of having one of my items/photos make it to the front page. Here are a few new purchases, photographed in my new setup.

On another, kind of related note, I have a bunch of craft shows coming up this holiday season. FOUR to be exact! I've been doing some legwork, collecting display pieces, and just generally getting ready, little by little. My latest purchase for my shows is an AMAZING new mirror to sit on my table so passers by can stop and catch a glimpse of their lovely mugs while trying to decide which pair of earrings they are going to buy from me. I've been looking for mirrors pretty much everywhere I go for some time now and to no avail. I couldn't even find those ugly vanity bathroom type mirrors. Oh well, I finally found this gorgeous piece of work at a little boutique in Pasadena called Ella Bella. A few days ago Branden and I went to the Norton Simon Museum of Art after school (his, not mine) to see the Marcel Duchamp exhibit. We walked around just a little bit, since it's all I can handle, and just as we were walking back to the car this caught my eye. And I'm in love. I just know somebody is going to try to swindle me out of it at one of my shows! HANDS OFF!!!

Here's a close-up of the sweet little golden birdie perched at the base.

I thought it would be nice to also have a little handheld mirror for the opposite end of my table and after some fun, online vintage shopping on Etsy, I found this little steal from Sidney Ann Dry Goods. This silver shell mirror was so cheap, I can't believe it. I'm all set!

Last, but not least, here is another awesome business find. This little baby is a sweet little business card holder. It's fabric, but sturdy enough to keep my business cards safe from damage. Plus, it's MAGIC!!! All you have to do is pull the little string and out pop my business cards. It's super awesome. This is also from Etsy, from Indigo Luna.

An even better joke at 2:25am

2008-09-26T02:25:00.001-07:00

While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75-year old Texas rancher whose hand was caught in a gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Sarah Palin and her bid to be a heartbeat away from being President. The old rancher said, 'Well, ya know, Palin is a post turtle.'

Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a post turtle was.

The old rancher said, 'When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a post turtle.'

The old rancher saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he continued to explain. 'You know she didn't get up there by herself, she doesn't belong up there, she doesn't know what to do while she is up there, and you just wonder what kind of dumb ass put her up there to begin with.'

A stupid joke at 1:09am

2008-09-25T01:09:00.000-07:00

-How did Hitler tie his shoelaces?

-In little knotsies! (heh heh, get it? Nazis. Knotsies. Get it!?!)

And now I'm going to bed. Goodnight all.

I'm so WHITE it's painful!

2008-09-17T21:13:00.000-07:00

Today I tackled the task of photographing all of my new jewelry pieces to put up in my Etsy shop. It's a lot of work to get really great photos to highlight the pieces, but the most important thing to me is natural lighting. Sunlight. There's nothing like it to make everything sparkle and shine just right. I gathered up all my goods and went outside. Apparently I wasn't thinking properly and hadn't planned on being outside as long as I was. I now have a wicked sunburn on the whole right side of my body. Just the right side, as I was sitting under our awning attempting to be shaded while still using the sun, I guess only half of me was shaded. Awesome. Superb. At least this pain is limited to one side of my body. The back of my neck, my whole arm, and my whole right leg are bright red and on fire. I haven't had a sunburn in a really long time, I kind of forgot how horrible they are! That's why I don't go outside. The sun and I do not get along! We are SO not friends anymore. I didn't even get to finish my photography session. Once I realized I was burning to a crisp I came inside and decided to do the rest later.

Now, covered in Aloe Vera and Solercaine, I need to go make some dinner. Anyone wanna do it for me?

Success!

2008-09-17T01:05:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday we finally had our Open House event and it went really well! This was the first time any of us have showcased any of our work in front of an audience. I think we all learned a lot from this experience and now I'm super ready for my upcoming craft shows. I'm participating in a craft show at Villa Park High School on October 18th, and another one at La Habra High School on December 13th with Jess. There's another craft show that I just applied for, this one is a juried show, so we'll see if I get in! If not, no big deal, but it will be interesting to hear what judges think of my jewelry. February is just around the corner, and that means no more paychecks! So I'm doing my best to make what money I can until then. Hopefully I will make it!

Considering the fact that the event was just at someone's house, I think I did pretty well. I was a little surprised to find that I mostly sold necklaces, but a sale is a sale! And I made many that day. I am happy with my outcome, and I'm hoping that I do infinitely better in my upcoming events.

Anyway, here are just a few photos of my setup at the boutique event. Just thought I'd share for those of you who couldn't make it!

Busy Busy Busy Busy Busy

2008-09-06T02:10:00.000-07:00

So it's obvious to just about everyone now that I've been planning for a big event for my jewelry and art along with many other talented friends of mine. I have only one week left to hammer out all the little details of the big day. Who knew there would be SO many little things to do for an open house!! Thankfully, free time is on my side, and my perfectionism. Being so detail oriented, I think I have a knack for planning...whatever the occasion or event might be. It's been so nice to have something to keep me really busy lately. I've been planning and making lists and sending emails and organizing like crazy, but I'm enjoying it! Since I'm the one with all the free time (i.e. not working) I've pretty much taken charge of the details. We've done great collaborating as a team, but all the little things are mine alone. I don't mind. I had a pleasantly busy day, crossing off nearly half of my 'to do' list. Okay, maybe not quite half, but I did get quite a lot done.

Once this event is over, I have to step up to the plate and start calling my lawyer constantly until they get tired enough of me to actually do something! I am NOT looking forward to that. I know that I have to be loud to be heard, but I'm just not good at being a pain in the ass. I hate it! I hate calling and calling and calling just to be told that nothing has happened, or to never get a return phone call. You have my whole summer summed up right there. I've had a lawyer for months now and I still don't even have a letter of representation. Bull! That is unacceptable! At least get my freaking case started! Okay, this is not going to be fun, but I know what I have to do.

In February (if not before then) I will no longer have an income. SCARY! My mom can't pay my bills. Branden definitely can't pay my bills! I'm kind of screwed unless things really get moving. This thing has the potential to bury me in debt (even more than my previous life mishaps which I'm still trying to climb out of) if things don't get moving. It's absolutely frightening! I have this whole amazing future planned out in my head and not only is it all on hold, the thought of more debt TOTALLY freaks me out. I want to get married and travel. I want a Honeymoon somewhere fun! I want to finish school. I want to move out! Debt is not going to make any of those things easy! How are we supposed to plan a wedding when we have negative dollars? My plan: paint. Create. It's all I have. Now that I've actually sold some artwork, I have a whole new confidence about it. I love my new pieces and I hope to find a home for them soon! For the first time in my life, I might become a struggling artist, for real! It may be by default, but I can't help thinking that I need to make the most of it and use this time for my talents. It helps to balance out all the bitchy (I'm actually very polite, but in my head I feel bitchy) phone calls.

My Other Family

2008-08-29T23:17:00.000-07:00

This week Branden and I went up to Big Bear to spend some quality time with his family. Branden's sister and her husband and kids live in Tucson, Arizona and we haven't seen them in over a year! It's about time we got a chance to spend some quality time with these adorable little kids! We bonded, in a big way!

The lovely Winter home

Some of my favorites!

The rest of the property.

Cody the Foxtrotter,

wearing his sweet shades to keep the flies out of his eyes.

Cowboy Bob's boots.

Who would have thought that Branden's dad would be a real live cowboy.

A good morning present from Branden : ) So sweet!

Where there are horses, there's a whole lot of this!

A giant pile of horse poo.

Brianna (Branden's sister) and her 3 year old daughter, Cora.

Daddy, Nick, and Baby Brodie.

Here's Brodie showing us the signs for "bird." Brianna has been teaching both of her kids sign language as a way to communicate before they have the ability to form the actual words. It's amazing! I'm totally going to do that with my kids. It really helps them communicate! My mom always talks about how frustrated I would get as a little one when I couldn't get them to understand what I wanted. This would have worked wonders for me.

Miss Cora has a million faces. Most of them are pretty funny!

Princess Cora and the Brodozer.

Being sillly.

Making funny faces with Uncle Bran.

Precious girl.

We had so much fun just hanging out with the kids. Cora is SUCH a girl and it's so fantastic! We made bracelets and necklaces (which she's sporting in all these pics), we played princesses and had tea parties, it was a blast! I can't remember the last time I colored in a coloring book, but it's still fun! And Brodie is such a little brute! That is one tough little boy. He was pushed and pulled and falling down and every time he just got up, dusted himself off and went back to running around the house. The kids totally loved us and we just couldn't get enough of them. "We are friends now," Cora told me. Branden's sister even called me Aunt Melissa, I loved that! They are the most welcoming people and I love them all. I already feel like a part of the family. I feel lucky to know that one day these loving people will be my in-laws. Hopefully it won't be another year before we get to see them all again.

EXTRAVAGANZA!!! You heard it here first!

2008-08-21T01:00:00.000-07:00

That's right my friends, you get the first scoop on what's to come. My great and talented friends and I are planning an open house event for our collective home businesses. Absolutely everyone is invited! It's going to be a fantastic day where we can all get together and gain exposure for our businesses while hanging out with great friends and meeting fun new people. It's an awesome opportunity to see my art in person, along with my jewelry. For once you can touch it, feel it, try it on, buy it in person! There will be all kinds of handmade items for sale and so much more! We have all kinds of fun stuff planned including lots of free giveaways! If you're in the Orange County area, come on over! Here's the scoop:

********************************************************************

Home Boutique Extravaganza!!!

Art * Crafts * Beauty * Desserts

Treat yourself to one-of-a-kind handmade

goods and mingle with local artisans!

When: Saturday, September 13, 2008

11:00am-7:00pm

Where: 3044 Blueridge Ave.

Orange, CA 92867

Original artwork, handmade jewelry, purses,

and more will be showcased at our home show.

Cash, checks, and credit cards will be accepted.

Free cake tastings from

Easy*As*Pie Cakes!!!

Free refreshments will be provided

throughout the day.

*******************************************************************

Meet the Team!!!

Myself: Poppy Raye Studio

Jess: Easy as Pie Cakes

Danielle: Bratty Dan

Elsie: Namaste Designs

Steppie: En Rouge Designs

Chantel: Our Mary Kay Consultant

AND MORE!!!!!!!!!!

Don't miss it! Come hang out, it's gonna be a blast!

Time to Celebrate!

2008-08-14T13:08:00.000-07:00

I am officially a PAID artist! I sold two paintings this morning and I'm so thrilled, I can't even begin to put it into words! There have been so many times in the past when people asked to buy my work, but it was always on casual terms. Nothing real ever came of it, plus, I just wasn't ready to let go. I get very attached to my art. I spend a lot of time with each piece and each one has a little part of me in it. But I feel confident in what I do these days and I finally decided to put a few paintings up for sale officially. And it sure didn't take long! My first sale, and she bought two! I'm still amazed. It's really a monumental event for me. It's very rewarding to know that there are people out there who think my art is worth something and are willing to pay for such a craft. I'm kinda giddy right now! I feel so validated as an artist!

Goodbye my lovelies!

Works in Progress. . . As Promised

2008-08-13T01:02:00.000-07:00

I know I did a whole lot of complaining in my last post, but like I said, today was a new day and I did make the most of it. I usually hate to show people my unfinished work, but I promised to give you all a little peek at what I've been up to lately in the studio. So here they are, photos of a few of my current works in progress.

My absolute favorite thing that I'm currently working on is a painting of a gorgeous, colorful Koi Fish. I'm in love with this little guy and absolutely had to capture his likeness in the form of oil and pigment. I know the pic could be better, but this is a decent representation of my little corner of a studio. This is what my Koi looked like before I set to work on him today. Not bad, but still needs work.

This photo is what I had when I finished for the day. The photo hardly does him justice. I didn't worry about the lighting and whatnot so there's a horrible glare from my flash and there is definitely some detail lost, but he's looking really great. I'm so excited to be almost finished with him. I can't wait to do another one. I'm crazy about the colors and textures of these stunning fish! I only have a few minor details to perfect before I have a painting that I'm truly happy with. The colors are luscious and vibrant and I'm happy with the texture I've achieved with the scales. That was a challenge, but worth it! Once it's finished I will take the time to get better photographs with much better detail. Once he dries, he will be for sale!!

This is a painting I started just a few days ago. It's a really simple landscape (mostly a skyscape at the moment) but I love it. The painting is from a photograph I took when visiting Mount St. Michel while I was living in France. To me, it's one of the great wonders of the world and the view from atop is just breathtaking. I haven't painted a landscape of any sort in many many years, so this should be fun. If you are EVER in France, do go out of your way to see this magical place. I assure you, you won't regret it! This painting will also be for sale once it's finished.

This last one you may have seen before. I decided to paint another Kiss to sell. I am keeping the true original as it's one of my all-time favorite pieces and just can't bear to part with it. So I painted another. I'm thinking of having prints made of this one as well. I can't tell you how many people seem to love this painting. This version is just about finished. Just a small detail here and there and this baby will be ready for the world.

I have more ideas in mind and the moment I clear some space by finishing these pieces, I'll be starting some new ones for sure. I will definitely write about what comes next as soon as I decide. If you have any ideas about what kinds of paintings you would like to see from me, leave me a comment. I'm looking for challenges and suggestions. My style is simple. I am truly inspired by the colors and textures of things in everyday life. I like to take something very simple and bring it to new life by blowing it up or deepening the colors. I LOVE the challenge of recreating an interesting texture on a flat surface, whether it's from wood grain on chairs to fish scales on my Koi. I have tons of ideas of paintings I'd like to do, but I'm always curious too as to what kinds of ideas other people have. Any suggestions or even critiques are warmly welcomed. Perhaps you will have ideas I haven't thought of yet!

Oh! On a last little note, there is going to be an event coming up where you all will have the opportunity to shop/see/buy/drool over my artwork and jewelry in person! The details will be finalized very very soon and I will post them immediately!!! It's going to be FANTASTIC!!!

Surgery Update

2008-08-12T00:57:00.000-07:00

I haven't written about my current predicament in awhile, so this will be a little life update for y'all.

My current surgery update is that there basically is NO UPDATE. I have no clue what's going on. My lawyer has not returned a single one of my calls since the day I met/hired him. I have not received any copies of the letters of representation that were supposed to be sent out. I didn't receive the originals of all of my medical records which I lent to him to copy. My lawyer's assistant, Joseph, is the one who answers the phone every time my mom or I call and he never has any idea about what is going on with my case. I am ready to pull my hair out! The summer is just about over and I have major school decisions to make. Decisions that I simply cannot make without knowing what's going on with my case. But I don't know what's going on with my case! So I make tons of phone calls trying to figure out what's going on with my case and nobody will call me back. Vicious, vicious cycle!

So, what's a girl to do? Should I fire him? CAN I fire him? I signed the papers that explained how he would be paid (from a future settlement) so I don't really know what that means. But I DO know that my stupid lawyer hasn't done a damn thing! My doctor (who is fantastic) recommended him so I felt that I was in good hands but now I'm starting to wonder. I just don't know what to do. Fill me in if you have any insight! Am I supposed to just sit in my house and wait until he finally gets to my case? Meanwhile, my life is just passing me by. Do I need to be completely obnoxious (something that I'm horrible at) and call constantly trying to find answers? Do I pick a new lawyer at random because I don't know any others? My life is such a mess! I really don't mean to be such a big baby here, but seriously, I've been patient. I gave them the whole summer to get started (at the very least). My whole world has been flipped upside down for over a year and a half now. I deserve to at least know what's going on!

While I wait for some sort of answer, some glimpse of what's to come, I have to decide whether or not I should go to school for fall semester. Just the thought of school is stressing me out beyond belief. I don't think I'm ready to go back. The pain is still bad. The stress is outta control, today it resulted in tears, once again. Nothing has changed since I took the medical leave last semester. Plus, I physically can't sit for very long, so I could only take two classes, tops. I've only found one class that I need to take that I would actually be able to sit through. Most of my art history classes are several hours long (one day per week) so my back would never make it. To keep in good standing with the school I have to take at least two classes (or take a leave of absence), so I would have to take an extraneous class. That's all I need, to spend money that I don't have on a class that I don't need while I'm unsure about when I'm going to finally be able to have surgery. I did sign up for those two classes just in case, but I'm leaning toward not going to school this fall. I really don't see the point of only completing one needed class, that is if I would even be able to finish it!

More crap. The last time the worker's comp minions called to check up on me, they still didn't know I had a lawyer. Once I told them they pulled me out of work. As a result, starting next month I don't have ANY health insurance. Kinda freaking out! The last time I didn't have any health insurance I tore two ligaments in my ankle (in Barcelona no less!), and I still have problems with it. I don't have luck on my side. The minute my insurance runs out I'm bound to get hurt or sick. I don't even qualify for Cobra! I'm screwed.

Also, if I don't attend school this fall I have to start repayment on student loans. This may be something I can fandangle by talking to my lender, but who knows. Another hassle for sure.

Lastly, but surely the scariest, they can stop paying me at any time. There's a chance that I will continue to be paid until the two year mark, but after I hit that date I will have no real income. My two years is up in February, which is not really all that far away. So this is one of my many underlying stresses. I'm doing what I can now to supplement an income loss. I've sort of stocked up on a lot of my jewelry supplies. I'm really hoping that my Etsy shop will pick up even more around the holidays. Thank you all for being so supportive by the way! And I've been trying my hardest to get in the studio and do a little painting for short amounts of time. I'm hoping to start selling some artwork here too. In fact, I had a woman send me a message expressing interest in buying both of my dandelion paintings and just had a question about payment methods. Unfortunately, that was about a week ago and I've heard nothing else, but it was great just to hear that a total stranger was willing to spend several hundred dollars on my artwork! I still secretly hope that she does come back to purchase, but it's flattering either way. It's a real confidence booster when it's a total stranger! Anyway, I have a couple of paintings that I'm working on, little by little, I'll share some pics of my works in progress very soon. My lovely readers, I'll give you a sneak peek!

Racking my brain...I think that's all of the important stuff for now.

I'm trying my best to stay sane by using my craft as an outlet. Or crafts, as it has been lately. The knitting is great! I can't wait to make something useful. The sewing was postponed until this coming weekend because the little boys were far too distracting, plus my mom can't sit still for even 5 minutes! We'll see how it goes next time. That's about all I have going on at the moment. Think me up some super happy thoughts. I'm getting a little down. I literally pulled a muscle in my right shoulder...that's how tense I am. This burden I bear gets to be too much sometimes. But tomorrow is a new day and I plan on making the most of it.

Whew! That was a little long-winded. Thanks for reading! I hate having to talk about this crap all the time, so this is wildly helpful in letting you all know what's happening.

Peace and Love.

Learning Something New Everyday

2008-08-06T00:57:00.001-07:00

Those of you who know me, and know me well, would know that I'm all about creating. Whether it's cooking a great dinner from scratch or painting, my favorite thing to do is to create something out of nothing. I'm never content, though, with the things I already know. I always want to know more, I want to know how to do EVERYTHING! I would love to learn how to sew, even if it's just following a pattern. That's on my long list of things to learn. As is knitting. So today, I taught myself how to knit! I bought a super thin book called "Learn to Knit in Just One Day," to teach me the basics and now I know how to knit. These pics are just a couple of thin strips of my practice pieces. They're not perfect in any way, but I'm learning and here's my proof! I love my super sweet bamboo knitting needles!

In this time where I'm in limbo with my whole life, I'm doing the best I can to make good use of all the free time. I'm learning to do some of the things that I've never had time for before, and I love that. And, just today I reconnected with an old friend, my oldest friend! I've known Tiffany since I was only 9 months old! Over the years we sort of just saw each other less and less for no good reason whatsoever, but I do love her. She was like a sister growing up, we were called the "giggle sisters" and often times we even dressed alike. So needless to say, it was so good to see her today and I hope that this time we can keep in touch for good. This painful time in my life has reminded me how important the people are in my life. When everything else has been torn away from me, I still have my loved ones standing by me in my fight. I have my friends and family. I have my church. I have my boyfriend. I'm at least that lucky! I couldn't do any of this without all of them. I'm hoping this weekend I'll get to spend a little time with my mom as she teaches me how to sew! Can't wait. I thrive off of this stuff!

Silverbells and Cockleshells

2008-08-01T01:51:00.000-07:00

Once the cold had gone and summer was about to arrive it was time once again to do a little gardening. Of course, this year I was more of a supervisor/dictator than an actual gardener, but I LOVE our little garden. Here it was at the beginning. Branden did the manual labor, my mom watched and pointed and I did some light planting of seeds. At this point it really wasn't much to look at but my oh my have we come a long way!

I took this photo earlier today! Look what green thumbs we have! These photos were taken about 6-8 weeks apart. What amazing things God can do in such a short amount of time! In the back row we have a huge, thriving zucchini plant and rapidly growing green beans. In the front row I have all of my essentials: thyme, oregano, Italian parsley, sage, basil, tarragon, and rosemary.

There is nothing better than cooking with fresh herbs. I'm addicted to them! They have such amazingly bright flavors that make just about anything taste garden-fresh. I can't cook without them and it's fantastic to have 'em all at hand in our little garden. I love growing my own food...or at least a small amount of it and it's something that I hope to continue throughout my life and with my kids. I wish we had a bigger garden to fill with fresh fruits and veggies. We do have some fruit trees that produce the best lemons, plums, oranges, and grapefruit you can imagine! The lemon tree has to be my favorite though because I cook with them constantly. Being injured has given me ample time to be bored and teach myself how to cook. I'm now a fabulous cook, it's great! In fact, I'll share one of my favorite, easy, versatile chicken recipes inspired by the ingredients in my own garden. It's not so much a recipe as it is just a dish that I make and tweak constantly. But it's really delicious, healthy, and really easy, give it a shot! I often make a big batch of this chicken and use it in countless other dishes like pastas, salads, pizzas etc. The flavors can go with so many things, and I love leftovers so it's perfect!

Mel's Garden Fresh Chicken

(Lemon/Herb/Garlic Marinated Chicken)

zest + juice of 1 lemon

olive oil

2-3 cloves garlic, finely chopped

1 shallot, finely chopped

fresh, chopped herbs of your choice (a small handful should be fine)

(I typically use tarragon, thyme and parsley...or just rosemary...whatever you like)

bone in, skin on chicken breasts (we always make about 4 at a time)

Kosher salt

pepper

1. In a glass baking dish pour a glug of olive oil (exact measurements aren't necessary) and add lemon zest and juice, garlic, shallots, and herbs to the dish. Mix well.

2. Rinse chicken and pat dry. Pull skin away from the breast (but not totally off) so the chicken can be seasoned.

3. Place chicken in glass dish with marinade and mix well to coat. Once chicken is covered in mixture, season well with salt and pepper (Kosher salt is the best way to go for perfectly seasoned food, and I'm a pepper snob, freshly ground is a must!). Pull the skin back over the breast to hold in all the flavor and set aside to marinate for 20-60 minutes. About a half hour should do the trick, but don't let it sit longer than 1 hour.

4. Heat oven to 400 degrees.

5. Bake for about 50-55 minutes. Check for doneness and enjoy!

Seriously, try it. It's my favorite "recipe." I use quotations because there's nothing written down in the form of a formal recipe, I just know what to do. If I can do it all from memory, you all can surely do it from a recipe! You can't mess it up, I swear. You'll love it! Even the kids gobble it up!

Let me know how it goes if you decide to try it out : )

Say Cheese!

2008-07-29T23:28:00.000-07:00

So I know that I said I would tell you all about my horrible day later, but I'm sick of talking about it. After a couple of terrible days Branden and I decided we needed to get out of the house and do something fun. The OC Fair is in town so that was perfect! I wanted to do a little amateurish photography of all the fun stuff they have there, so here's what I ended up with!

Who Doesn't Love a Ferris Wheel on a clear blue, sunny day?

(Yeah, so we had an earthquake, it was still gorgeous today! Try pulling that off with a tornado!)

I didn't ride any roller coasters (because I'm already hurt and I'm not an idiot) but I did live vicariously through these folks! They can fly!

One of my favorite pics of the day.

I'm still regretting that we left without riding this slide. But alas I'm injured and can only watch normal people have fun.

Gotta love the prizes! Branden won me a cute little brown teddy bear (whom I've already neglected by forgetting to take his picture to share with you). He said it's the very first time he's ever won ANYTHING at a carnival!

Super Cool Clown Shoes.

The theme of the fair this year. I've never seen so many quotes about cheese, it was crazy.

On the farm. Isn't it crazy that this is in the same place as all the other pictures? I love how it looks like we were somewhere else entirely with the cute little red barn in the background.

Another of my favorites.

There's just something strangely beautiful about the obnoxious neon lights at the fair.

More wishful thinking.

A few nighttime shots before we left.

Although restricted, we had to at least ride the ferris wheel! It doesn't get much tamer than that. Plus I LOVE ferris wheels! Especially in the dark when they're all aglow.

From our bucket seats!

So pretty!

I feel sorry for anyone who is afraid of heights!

Last one!

And of course, who can leave the fair without scarfing down one of life's guiltiest pleasures?!?

I live for Funnel Cakes.

Yeah, I broke the rules! And it was worth it! So what if I ate both WHEAT and DAIRY!!! It was delicious!

The Bran Man enjoying his plate o' joy.

We only stayed at the fair for a couple of hours and I am feeling it. I'm totally exhausted, but the pain from walking around is killing me so I'm blogging instead of sleeping because, like most nights, the horrible pain keeps me awake. We totally did have fun though. I always love to go look at the local art and craft exhibitions. I love the gardens and the greasy food. I love the bright lights and colorful toys. I love the people watching and the uber cheesy cover bands and bad performances.

Side note: Today we didn't even see a single mullet! We were ready to count mullets for the day because come on, who else goes to the fair? Have mullets finally become obsolete? It can't be. We did see some pretty sweet middle aged men wearing button up shirts covered in flames though. Those guys are cool. Fun night!

SwizzleStix!

Big News!

HAPPY ETSYVERSARY TO ME!!!

Fullerton Arboretum

Colton Eating Cheetos

Carbon Canyon and the Biggest Kid I Know

Japanese Garden

One Man's Trash...

Congratulations Zach!!!

Backyard Tourism - Big Bear

Backyard Tourism - Huntington Beach

Quite possibly the greatest promotional stunt EVER!

The new 'do

To Be (Blonde) Or Not To Be

Be a Pal! A Pen Pal!

A Good Friday Indeed

Cat got your pen?

It's a beautiful day. . .

Detox

100 & 27

It Never Fails...

Words I Live By

In your face, bunnies!

Aqua and Gold

The Visitors

Mulberry Muse

Poster Child - An Update.

Out of the kindness of my heart

For the love of cooking

I just can't hide it!

End of Hiatus

Hospital Stay

Visitation Information

The Countdown Begins

SURGERY TIME!

Wanna hear something funny?

***THIS JUST IN***

Dear Santa Ana Winds,

Wet Paint

Two New

Happy Birthday Miss Laura!

San Diego Zoo

Vote for Me!

No Going Back

Fullerton Arboretum - Part Deux

Fessing up: The first step to recovery.

Looking Back: 2008 In a Nutshell

Under the Mulberry Tree

I'm It!

ONLY 8!

All I Want For Christmas...REVISED!

Let's Play WHAT HAPPENED TO ZACH?

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Lions, Giraffes & Elephants! Oh my!

We're at it again!

New Paintings!

I'm OK, You're OK

Do I Dazzle You?

Looking Forward

VOTE!

They Like Me! They Really Like Me!

3rd Annual Pumpkin Carving Party-2008!!!

Wishful Thinking Bracelets

The Fullerton Arboretum

Bust.

Thank YOU, Mother Earth!

On A Roll!

I have arrived!

My new favorite things! With a purpose.

An even better joke at 2:25am

A stupid joke at 1:09am

I'm so WHITE it's painful!

Success!

Busy Busy Busy Busy Busy

My Other Family

EXTRAVAGANZA!!! You heard it here first!

Time to Celebrate!

Works in Progress. . . As Promised

*Surgery Update*

Learning Something New Everyday

THIS JUST IN

Surgery Update